I think it's safe to say that at this point in time, we can't really turn on a TV without some kind of drama unfolding in the Trump administration.
Whether you support Trump or not, it's easy to tell that there are plenty of times when the White House seems to be scrambling and under chaos. Case in point: the fact that a handful of staffers have either resigned or been fired over the past few months alone. These fallen heroes are missing one thing in their lives, (and no, it is not a time machine, although they probably wish they had that too.)
They need a tribute to all the hard work they put in, even if their hard work mostly included making up alternative facts. So, without further ado, here is my tribute to every White House staffer who has either left to save their own skin, or has been fired to save someone else's skin.
1. Michael Flynn
Where do we even begin with Michael Flynn? Aside from looking like a scarecrow come to life, he also mysteriously resigned from being the National Security Adviser a tremendous twenty-four days into Trump's presidency. There is still a lot of lingering controversy over whether or not Flynn had contacts with the Russians before and after Trump became president. Later on, he asked for immunity if he ended up testifying. Michael Flynn's resignation was the first major controversy in Trump's administration, and many questioned why he would request immunity if he hadn't done anything wrong. One thing's for certain though:
2. James Comey
James Comey was not necessarily a White House Staffer, however, he was the former F.B.I. director, the one who was fired by President Trump for...what, exactly? It's a little hard to tell, based on the fact that Trump completely contradicted the White House's statement on the reason why he fired Comey. Was it because the Deputy Attorney General recommended it based off of Comey's handling of Hillary Clinton's emails? That's what the White House said. President Trump gave an interview with Lester Holt, however, in which he said the reason was actually due to "this Russia thing." Either way, when it comes to Trump firing Comey, here's one thing we shouldn't do:
3. Sean Spicer
Sean Spicer has to be my favorite White House staffer so far. His press conferences didn't need to be parodied; they were already SNL skits from the get-go. He lied about the size of President Trump's inauguration crowd size five seconds after saying that there were no hard numbers on the crowd size. He claimed that Adolf Hitler did not use chemical weapons on people, when Hitler in fact slaughtered millions of people using gas chambers. He also brilliantly hid among bushes to avoid President Trump after the fallout of firing James Comey.
Although his war with the fake news may be over, Sean Spicer still has one war left to fight:
4. Reince Priebus
Reince Priebus is hard to describe, seeing as how his only characteristics included being mousy and boring. He was recently fired as the White House chief of staff, and rumors are saying it was because he was not deemed "strong" enough to serve in President Trump's administration. In Priebus' defense, it is difficult to have strength when you are a mouse constantly being chased by an overweight canary with yellow hair. During that creepy White House meeting in which staff members praised President Trump for things he hasn't done, Priebus referred to his job as a "blessing." Something tells me that running around trying to catch that canary wasn't such a blessing, though. If only someone had the chance to tell him this before he was fired:
Just for the record, I actually finished this article while Scaramucci was still employed. I was hoping that we could go forty-eight hours without another White House staffer getting canned, but here we are. It's been a whirlwind eleven days for Scaramucci, and some of his more memorable moments include a bizarre and expletive ridden interview with the New Yorker, his wife filing for divorce despite being nine months pregnant, and tweeting that Reince Priebus should be investigated for "leaking" his financial disclosures, even though said disclosures would have eventually become available to the public at some point in time. Overall, The Mooch is just another loudmouth at the bar who is too drunk to be aware that the things he is saying make no sense, but hey. At least he bid us farewell on his first day:
Honorable Mention: Chris Christie
Despite the fact that he was never in President Trump's administration, you've got to hand it to the overwhelmingly disliked New Jersey governor. He has done everything he can to please President Trump, yet he was still forced to stand behind him at a press conference. Chris Christie is like the worst cheerleader on the squad who keeps trying to impress the star football player. Every time he tries to do the splits, he falls on his ass. Although his political career is pretty much over, at least these facial expressions will last forever:
Stay tuned to see who gets the axe next!