26 Things I'm Just Sooooo Thankful For
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Politics and Activism

26 Things I'm Just Sooooo Thankful For

What would I do without you? Oh that's right, be much happier.

26 Things I'm Just Sooooo Thankful For

Ah, Thanksgiving: the one time of year when we truly reflect on anything and everything,

That is, of course, until we drop the wishy-washy, sentimental gratitude posts the minute Black Friday commences. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jaded, as I learned very quickly that not everything is all flowers and sunshine, that not everyone and everything is lovely.

But that doesn't mean I am not grateful, nor completely cynical. People, and life in general, are great, really: you do not have to set the bar of expectations so high, because nine times out of time, you'll want to take back your words. The "maybe it isn't so annoying or bad"'s are quickly forgotten when, in an all too predictable manner, the outcome results in something far worse than expected. The number of times I rolled my eyes, conjured mental scenarios of flipping people off, and went on a tirade on nonsense caused by idiocy is actually quite comical. And yet, for that, I am able to say that I'm truly grateful for the following things (10% of the time) that continually spur feelings of confusion, anger and utter disbelief from within.

1. People who should be banned from the Internet

Your ignorance brings tremendous joy and laughter into my life; but realistically, you're probably better off logging off forever.

2. Unrealistic Fitspiration posts

Nah, I won't start loving myself once I reach a size 4. This did, however, motivate me to purchase a Big Mac. Don't stop until you're proud.


I get a kick out of how transparent you are. Please continue.

4. People who walk too slowly

As a New Yorker, my sole purpose is to aggressively show you how to walk into action. I live for this.

5. Having to be healthy for the majority of the week

I would eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's, a bucket of KFC and a biscuit, french fries, pizza, and movie theater popcorn every day of the week, but that's "bad for my health." I still have my fantasies, though, which I'm grateful for everyday.

6. Minions

Who are you? What are you? Why are companies capitalizing on you? I'm confused as to why you're beloved, but I'm grateful for you "things" providing joy.

7. Answering Questions at Family Functions

Hi Aunt, I'm doing well. Yes, I like writing for the Odyssey. Yes, this semester does in fact suck. No, I don't want to talk to you any longer, leave me with the chips and sour cream and onion dip.

8. College Dining Hall Food

Wasting tons of money on shitty food makes me so happy, but not as happy as I am with spending 10829012911290192019 dollars on tuition.

9. Having to hide from people in supermarkets in generic hometown

Running away from people I know for the sole purpose of avoiding forced interaction is my favorite activity.

10. Catcalls

Thanks for telling me I have a nice ass. Your comment suddenly gave me newfound confidence. Miracles really do happen.

11. Cancelled Party Plans

I love cancelled plans, especially when those plans ***would have*** involved a nice city dinner and a nice opportunity to go wild.

12. Flaky Friends

You guys rock!!!!!!!!!

13. Difficult College Courses

I'm not trying to graduate and get a job. Really. I'm not!!! Thanks for the experience, though.

14. Job & Internship Interviews

I love pre-job interview anxiety. Especially when it causes me to sound like an idiot throughout the entire interview.

15. Rude People

You exert excessive time and energy to be nasty, and I really do appreciate watching you take the more difficult route in life. It's easier to be kind and friendly, but don't stop now: I get entertainment value from you thinking you're above everyone.

16. Highly Active Group Chats

80 plus text messages about tomorrow night's plans does not warrant an excuse, but proceed. I'm grateful for even having friends.

17. Assignments

I want to write checks for Ferraris, not write homework assignments.... but I guess I have to struggle before swimming in millions.

18. Passive Aggressiveness

Instead of having a head on confrontation, let's just act like nothing is wrong, and continue to make subtle digs. Life is so easy this way.

19. Group Projects

Creating the group chat, coordinating with everyone's schedule, finding a time to meet, and working until the very last minute to half-ass a presentation is what makes my world great.

20. People who peaked in high school

In a society full of terrorism and violence, you're my source of comic relief.

21. Waiting

I have all the time in the world to wait and become a better, more patient person in the process.

22. People who don't use deodorant

You make my nose strong. You make my nose powerful. You make my nose unstoppable.

23. Slow Drivers

Any opportunity to flip a jerk off is one I enjoy.... in places where it rains pigs.

24. Awkward flirting via text

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."- Kelly Clarkson

25. Distasteful Selfies

Thanks for making me laugh.... and feel really bad about doing so.

26. Having to write this article

I have a billion tasks to complete, yet here I am writing this listicle. I'll probably fail my next math quiz, but at least I made you laugh. (I hope).

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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