Heartbreak is a mentally and physically tasking emotion. It consumes you completely. Sitting at a bus stop, eating at a restaurant, talking to a family member- heartbreak makes it so all of one's daily tasks take an immeasurable amount of effort.
"I never want to fall in love again."
"I will never trust anyone ever again."
"My heart hurts, my chest hurts, everything hurts."
Each step is a dull ache, every bite of food is force fed, every word is a last exhalation of breath.
It may take weeks, months, years until one feels normal again, as normal as being alone is, it is difficult to feel the foreign ground once again.
One day you will realize that the once heart crushing pain, is just a little twinge a few times a day, and then only a discomfort in your chest.
You will move forward. Slowly, but surely.
Grieve, you need to. Feel the pain of being left, but make sure to pick yourself up for the next day of work. Go out, enjoy your own presence. Hold yourself, sleep in, go to a coffee shop, go to the movies, watch the stars. Learn to be by yourself, to find company in your own head, in your own being.
Cleanse yourself of the memories. The movie ticket from last month, the framed pictures, take a day to go through all the things that cause you to take two steps back when you had just made one forward that morning, put them in a box and store them away.
Understand that there will be good days, and there will be bad days, scattered throughout the next few months. There will be days you want to stay in bed and never leave, if you have a free day, then do it; you deserve it, but make sure to take the day to treat yourself. If you have a busy day of plans and appointments, take a deep breath and lift yourself out of bed because you are STRONG.
Because life does go on, even if the last words you once shared reverberate in your head, even if her ocean eyes haunt your dreams, even if his chocolate eyes swim in your reflection. Don't let the pain overcome you, it's only up from here. Even though it may feel like the world has stopped and laughed at your pain, it keeps spinning. The same mail man will deliver your mail at 12 PM, the same bus driver will wait at the stop in front of your apartment, the same neighbor will leave for work late in a rush down the stairs. Don't miss out on the life you were given, because there are no makeups, no extra lives in this world.
Hold on to the fact that the wounds will heal. Once something is broken, it will never be the same- you will be different, that is okay, you will be stronger.
I urge you to find comfort and strength in yourself and do some deep introspective work during this process, lean on the people you love, and eat really good food.
And once you are proud to say that you have healed, open yourself up and embrace love once again, for it is the most amazing sensation. Learn to trust once again, learn to love yourself, and learn to love another.
You will get through this, you are not alone.
Much love and hugs, The Girl Who Is Still Getting Through This Process, Angellica
