Someone asked me recently why my boyfriend and I get along so well. It forced me to sit down and think for a minute, because, off of the top of my head, I wasn't sure why my boyfriend and I work so well. While we have similar interests and share many of the same beliefs, there are other areas where we staunchly disagree.
From an outsider's perspective, even our personalities clash. I am reserved and content to keep my beliefs private, while he is an outspoken extrovert. It would not shock me at all if people didn't understand why we have worked out well for two years with little to no conflict.
How could such vastly different people be involved in a successful and fulfilling relationship? After thinking about the question for a little while, the answer came to me. Its simplicity is lovely. We always compromise.
While qualities such as communication, honesty, and trust are arguably the most important traits in a healthy relationship, it is important to never underestimate the power of compromise. Every individual is their own person with their own set of beliefs and ideas and opinions. People forge their identities due to upbringings, education, and social experiences.
Groups with similar characteristics like to stick together. This results in university organizations, political parties, and activist groups. Differing opinions, on the other hand, can spell disaster for friendships and relationships alike, simply because people don't always know how to compromise. In addition, some people refuse to compromise because they believe their way is the only correct one.
It is vital to always be willing to listen to the other person. Whether or not you agree with them is not always important. Sometimes they just want their voice to be heard. Don't try to push your beliefs on them, instead, ask them for their reasons. Why do they feel the way they do? Why do they believe what they believe? Always put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be compassionate, and realize they feel as strongly about their opinion as you do about your own.
Be supportive of their beliefs while sharing your own beliefs. Take turns speaking. Don't let the conversation escalate to shouting, which solves nothing and only leads to anger. Instead, work toward a solution together. Agree to disagree. Naturally, sacrifices will be made on both ends, but isn't that part of being in a relationship anyway?
I promise, working together to compromise as a couple is so rewarding, because it means you can solve problems together. If you can solve problems together, there isn't anything you can't do together, even if you are different as night and day.
