Is It Too Soon To Take Your Relationship To The Next Step?
You may not be as ready for marriage as you think you are.
When you first get into a relationship, it is easy to be "blinded" by love. In the "honeymoon phase", which usually lasts between one and three months, you see your significant other as absolutely perfect. All of their quirks are adorable, and they can do no wrong.
Sooner or later, your eyes will be opened to who they truly are: a flawed human being. That is okay! We are all imperfect, and that doesn't have to be a deal-breaker. Some people don't realize though that the person they claimed to be in love with may not be the impeccable, flawless person they thought they would be.
A few months into a relationship, you may start to notice that some of their quirks are kind of annoying. You don't like the way they belch, or you don't enjoy seeing the same movies like them. Again, these are not deal-breakers, but they are things you need to become aware of. These annoyances may take longer to surface in a long-distance relationship, which is even trickier.
I have seen it time and time again. Two people start to date. They fall madly in love with each other. They are so blinded by their feelings that they believe they have found their soulmate. After three months, or six months, or even one year, they get engaged and set their marriage for a few months to a year later.
These people have yet to be introduced to the flaws of their partner (trust me, they are there). These people don't know how the other acts in a drastic situation. They don't know of the others life goals or if they have any incompatible interests. They don't know what it is like to live with that person day-to-day.
Maybe I'm jaded and don't believe in "love at first sight." Maybe these people enjoy learning more about their partners after marriage. Maybe it is none of my business. All I know is I see it happen way too often, and I continuously question how long this engagement or marriage is going to last.
I am a person who is driven by emotion. I oftentimes find it hard to be logical especially in situations with high emotional involvement. Who's to say that if I were proposed to after a year of dating, I wouldn't say yes? And we all know of people who married after a week of knowing each other who are still incredibly happy twenty years later.
All I know is that after two and a half years of being in a relationship without getting engaged, I feel much more confident in our future together. I feel like I have learned the most about him after our one-year benchmark. Through our occasional fights and disagreements, our relationship has become much stronger, and I wouldn't have experienced that in just six months.
Love is a funny thing, and I am not one to tell people their love isn't true or "good enough" for marriage. If you truly believe you are ready to take that next step, then who am I to tell you-you're not? All I am suggesting is that you really consider all of your options, and if you have time to wait, you probably should.
If you really, truly love someone with all of your heart, then an extra year of dating won't take away from the rest of your lives that you have to spend together.
