To My Family at the End of the Summer
Each year it goes by faster and faster.
Dear Family,
Well, here we are again: August. Each night brings a cool breeze on the back porch before supper and a gathering around the TV for "Big Brother" afterward.
Each night also brings us one day closer to fall, one day closer to move-in day.
Before those final nights arrive at our doorstep, begging for a reprieve from the raging summer thunderstorms, I just want to take a moment to thank each of you for a great summer.
I know that, at this point, you probably think I'm dying to get back to campus and "do my own thing" again. That's partially true, but not entirely. Even before I started college, I would start getting nervous during that last week of summer and it's never really stopped.
In fact, that annual feeling intensifies a little more each year because I know, in time, I won't just be moving out for the semester, I'll be moving out for good. Soon enough, I really will be a "real adult" and have to take care of myself, full-time.
Going into my junior year, I know that this will likely be one of the busiest semesters of my college careers as I take on several responsibilities on campus, a couple of on-campus jobs, the usual course load, and (gulp) start considering grad school after finishing undergrad.
To put it simply, going back means I'm getting scared. I'm getting scared that I will no longer have that continual source of unconditional love in the same household as me, let alone the same county. Heck, with the grad schools I have started to look at, I may not even be in the same state before long.
But, I know that none of that means that I will be completely "SOL" if I run into serious trouble from now on. I know that I can depend on all of you to do whatever you can to support me, just as I would (and will) for you.
To avoid any tears and comments of "why would you write that and make me cry again", I digress. Instead of making people cry for just speaking my true feelings and appreciation for my family, I'll move on. In the event that I have already made you tear up, I would like to counterbalance that by reminding you of all of the fun times we've had as a family this summer.
I know that it should be rough to start off on a good note because I was only home for a few days before flying out for Scandinavia, but I really did enjoy those few days. Sure, I wrote down the wrong days for my finals and had to drive back after moving out but I want you to know that I appreciate your help in moving me out so I could "just get away."
Mom, I want you to remember all of the fun conversations we had while we worked on the cooler for Shann's formal. All of the discussions that we had about the world, about the people we know, about life in general. That was a stressful time between packing for formal and a two-week trip out of the country, but I had fun in the process.
Dad and Thomas, I want you to remember meeting my professors for the first time at the airport. I hope their mild eccentricity didn't scare you but, rather, gave you hope that I would enjoy my trip and learn to go with the flow a little more. It was rough to see you for a few hours before I left again for two weeks but I hope you remember that time while I'm gone.
I know life got rocky after I returned from my trip, so I won't dwell on the negatives of this period. Instead, I want you all to think of how much we've grown as a family as a result.
Instead of a summer full of employment for both Pusser kids, we both fell in and out of potential job opportunities and fell idle for a while. It was frustrating for everybody because we both want to work and have a little extra "spending money" but it just wasn't in the cards for either of us. Instead, we had more time to bond with each other by going to the gym.
Thomas, I want you to remember how fun it was to joke around with each other in the gym this summer. I really have enjoyed watching you improve as a soccer player and a young man and I hope that you continue that development in both. It's been really fun to teach you a few things about powerlifting and have you teach me a few things about your training. It's fun to see a different side of a familiar hobby and a different side of my not-so-little brother at the same time. I'll miss that this semester.
I'll also avoid the obvious tragedy of Papa's death as much as I can (because I want these to be happy memories) but there were some good things that came out of that as well.
Just think how much we all supported each other on that day alone, let alone the days and weeks that followed. Being there for one another just to provide a hug or questions such as "are you okay" and "do you need something to eat" really meant more than ever during that time. Think of how much we were there for one another during that month or so, think about the fact that that support will never go away. I will always be there for each of you and I know you will do the same for me.
Moving on to happier memories, let's think about that weekend trip to Wilmington, shall we? First of all, let's all lend a round of applause to mom for finding the coolest AirBnB in the entire city, above an old bookstore. Not only did we spend a lot of time together that weekend learning about the city, eating amazing food, and listening to Thomas's poorly-timed typewriter antics, but we spent a lot of time learning about one another.
Sure, we also learned that sitting front row in a huge movie theater will really kill your neck after a two and a half hour movie, but that's a story for another time.
It's not very often that I get to talk to all three of you at once and that weekend gave me plenty of opportunities to do exactly that. When I start to get homesick, I will return to the fond memories of that weekend and smile.
Mom, think of the day just last week that I went to work with you to help you set up for your fetal monitoring class. Think of how much fun (even if it didn't feel like it at the time) it was to spend an entire day together, just getting our respective responsibilities covered. I love seeing you "in action" and I want you to know that I am so proud of how much of your time and effort you put toward developing the education position at the hospital.
Dad, I know you don't want to keep it, but I want you to remember driving Thomas and me around in the Jeep in the past few weeks. Even if that thing is the same age as me and, because of this fact, terrifies me to my very core, I want you to remember those warm summer nights riding around town (with the windshield wipers on for no reason other than the fact that they're wired to the lights) and smile. Think of that as time we won't get to have together as much when I move out and Thomas heads off to college.
I want all of you to remember that, no matter how many little arguments we may have had over the summer or how much you probably want to strangle me for waiting until the final week to start packing, we had a pretty great summer together. Sure, it may not have been exactly what any of us had expected but it was fun. We learned a lot about each other and ourselves.
I know I learned to truly appreciate a moment as it's happening because it may not happen again for a long time. I learned to live with an open mind and, sometimes, to go against the plan, even if it hurts at the time. I learned to live in the moment and give back to others, to laugh at myself when I goof up.
This summer I learned that there's a true validity in my belief that a family's love and support shouldn't end just because you're "all grown up".
All of this I learned because of y'all.
And I can't thank you enough for these life lessons.
I love you and I can't wait to come back for more adventures over Winter Break,
Meagan
Sarah Pfile
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