I Rejected My 'Dream' Colleges And I Couldn't Be Happier
Be brave and choose to follow what is best for yourself.
Let me first start by being frank: In high school, I knew that I was going to a good college. My parents pushed for it and encouraged me to apply to top-tier private colleges and universities. They did so under the premise that, if I got in, I would be able to go. All I had to do was worry about getting in.
So, I did, and I focused on putting together the best application I possibly could. I spent weeks crafting my personal statement and writing the nineteen (yes nineteen!) supplemental essays that these universities wanted. I studied intensively for my SAT and worked hard for good grades in my classes. I was involved extensively around my school, doing things like student government, varsity sports, and advanced music.
I'm an NYC native and I always envisioned myself going to school right here. My family is really important to me and we are tight-knit, so a majority of my college choices were in New York. I was really interested in Barnard College, New York University, and Vassar College as my "dream schools". They are all well known for their academic prestige and connections that I felt were essential, as I want to become an immigration lawyer. I toured them all and I fell in love with each of them in their own ways. Barnard and Vassar had gorgeous campuses. NYU had the hustle and the energy of the city. After my applications were in, it was a waiting game.
In March 2019, I was lucky enough to get accepted to all three of these schools. I couldn't have been happier and I felt like my hard work had finally paid off.
However, there was a catch. These schools were insanely out of my price range. I had filed EVERYTHING for financial aid: FAFSA, CSS Profile, and I actively applied for outside scholarships. My estimated cost of attendance was a minimum of $70,000 a year for all my "dream schools." My parents are immigrants and city workers, I knew that there was no way we could afford it. I didn't want to take out loans, as I want to save the money for law school. My parents and I came to the consensus that it wasn't in my best interest to attend these institutions for undergrad given my circumstances.
Nonetheless, it was extremely difficult for me to let go of these schools. I cried for days as I looked at the acceptance letters and I blamed my parents for leading me on. "How could they say I could go initially, only to take it away in the end? They said money wasn't a problem, but they were clearly wrong." I wrestled with these feelings and I eventually had to put them to the side as I still needed to pick a place to attend for the fall.
I looked at my other options, which I was extremely fortunate to have. My next choice was Fordham University. It still had the city energy I craved, the academic prestige I felt was essential, but, most importantly, it was affordable. It was an opportunity for an amazing education at a reasonable price. I got scholarships and gift aid, which made it possible for me to commit.
Now, I know that "dream schools" are not always a possibility for everyone and that's OK. I'm still making my peace with it, but I know that I will be in school for another degree. Every school is what you make of it, and I am determined to make my college experience the best it possibly can be. That's why I started writing for the Odyssey at Fordham. I haven't even graduated high school yet, but I want to ensure I stay involved and meet amazing and hard-working people. I'm so excited to see what the future will bring.
To anyone who is struggling with a big decision: Be brave and choose what is right for you.
5 Respectful And Empowering Ways To Handle Rejection
Not everyone will like you, but not everyone has to.
You work hard, you do the right thing, and the inevitable happens. Someone comes along and begins to give you a backhanded compliment, or if you have the misfortune, a backhanded comment. You are left with a bad taste in your mouth and your day starts to turn sour. When people belittle you and your efforts, here are five respectful and empowering ways to sweeten those moments of rejection.
1. Never give someone a reason to not like you.
cdn.pixabay.com
People will say what they want and think what they want, no matter the subject or person of choice. It will not matter who you are or what you do, someone or another manages to pay you their two cents. You have to remember, you did not give them reasons to justify their words or actions towards you. These people who exhibit unwarranted thoughts about you are just another drop in the ocean. They do not define your good intentions or self-worth. They are not for you and you need not place any investigation or worry into the mystery of why they do not like you. You do not have to reason with them any further. Simply look forward to the people who care to be curious and open-minded about you.
2. Kill them with kindness.
upload.wikimedia.org
The dead push up daisies, but you plant the seed. Some people will smile proudly knowing they have said something cruel or disheartening to get a rise out of you but look at this as an opportunity. Every moment is a chance for you to choose how you react. Ten percent of life is what happens to you, it is out of your control. Ninety percent of life is what you do about it. Use your words to encourage, not discourage, civil discourse. Say what matters and say it with an honest purpose. State your case and let them respond how they will; you cannot control others, but you can control yourself. Be a good example others have yet to show themselves.
3. Turn the "No's" into a "Yes."
cdn.pixabay.com
The poet Sylvia Plath had this to say about rejection: "I love my rejection slips. They show me I try." She was talking about the process of writing literary submissions for publication, but her attitude still stands. This is the mindset it takes to find the success you want out of life. Despite all the people that deny you and your work, there are people that see potential and promise in you. It does not matter how many people say "No" to you. What does matter is the number of times you can get back to work and look forward to that one "Yes." You are working for the "Yes's" in your life. Forget the dream-killers and eye-rollers, they lack the hope and drive you have in what you do. They do not do what you do and do not do it like you do. For every "No" there is a "Yes."
4. Let your work speak for you.
upload.wikimedia.org
Sometimes no matter how endearing your elevator pitch sounds or how carefully crafted your resume is, people still find fault where there might not even be any. Your accomplishments are your own and that is something to take pride in. Of course, the right amount of pride separates you from the rest and for the better. Pride and confidence must not become virtues or vices that exceed who you are. The work you put out is an extension of who you are and no one can take that away from you. Work speaks for itself and yourself best, so focus on your goals and let your results stand in for your words people did not value. Your best is rarely seen at the moment of inspiration, usually after the final stroke of the brush has wet the canvas. It is your goal to show that stalwart work ethic in good times and in bad.
5. Your process will protect you.
cdn.pixabay.com
Keep working. Rule out the distractions and the doubts, the fears, and the flippant fools. Know that your process will save you in trying times. Work against all odds. At some point, things turn even and add up, but you have to be dedicated and diligent. Your sights are seen only through your eyes and your need is to show others what you see. Until then, your skill, your talent, will be honed with consistency. Show up to your work even when you have not been hit with inspiration. The Kodak moment will present itself through your process. Due diligence is the price of success. Eyes on the prize and nose to the grindstone. No one knows your work better than you.
Be the trampoline that bends the will of gravity-like rejection long enough until you can fly.