How To Find A Good College Roommate And Avoid Toxicity
Finding a good roommate is no joke.
With all of the new college commits for the upcoming school year may come to the biggest challenge of all, finding a roommate. The only place to meet your first college roommate is on Facebook unless your school gives you the option of having a random roommate. Finding a good roommate may be the most stressful and uncertain part about beginning your college experience. With the experience of a bad college roommate first semester and a new, good roommate second semester of college, I've seen a lot(and I'm not exaggerating).
The following are some tips on how to find and interact with your roommate:
1. Do not have the mindset it will be awful living with another person
Living with another person may not be awful. Test the waters at college move in. Too often it's easy to put blame on the hassle of living with another person. Look at living with a roommate as a new experience and the positives of building a relationship that you may not like with another person.
2. Be truthful about who you are
The most important part when finding a roommate is being truthful about your interests and what type of person you are. This helps with photos with friends, your major, and the extracurriculars you plan to get involved in. It's perfectly okay to be undecided about your major and activities. Do not feel the need to lie about being undecided to fit in with everyone else who thinks they have it all figured out. In fact, you may decide to go random to avoid the stress of finding a roommate. Personally, I wish I had a random roommate so if I didn't get stuck with a good person, it wouldn't be mine or my bad roommate's fault. Facebook is like speed dating, which can be hard if people unconsciously don't message you back.
3. Ask about your potential roommate's normal day
Asking what your roommate does on a normal day can determine if they are serious about school, focusing on party life, do sports, etc.. In addition, your roommate might have a completely different schedule once starting college.
4. Meet with your roommate prior to starting college
Meeting up with your roommate prior to college is crucial to see how he or she interacts with others. Observe if they are respectful, manipulative, and can problem solve and work with you as a team. Communicate on who will bring things that both of you will share.
5. Have weekly check-ins with your roommate
I strongly suggest having one meal a week with your roommate as a check-in to see how they are doing and get to know them throughout the year more. This ensures that you respect them as your roommate and care about the space you share together. If not a meal, you can always do a 30-minute activity like play a game, share a funny story, take a walk around campus. This shows that you are not trying to be manipulative and really sets peaceful interactions. If your roommate doesn't care to do anything with you, they don't care about you and you need to move.
6. Do not avoid your roommate just because you don't like he or she or don't have the same interests
This is the worst thing you could possibly do to a person. You can be respectful and don't have to be friends with your roommate. The point is writing off your roommate because they are "too different" is an excuse to be disrespectful and creates a hostile situation when it doesn't need to be.
7. Show you are interested in what your roommate is doing
Keep up with what's going on in your roommate's life, ask them questions, and show that you are proud of their accomplishments. Be exciting and put a smile on your face, and show you are excited to see he or she when they've returned for the day.
8. Stay aware
Stay aware of situations on your hall, and always be monitoring how your roommate is doing. If your roommate seems to be struggling, ask he or she what is going on and how you can support them.
Lastly, it's your responsibility to be a good roommate and good servant for your college community. College is something you only get to do once and would be a shame to ruin that for another person.
The Recent College Admissions Scandal Was No Surprise To Me
Disappointed but not surprised.
I always knew that the college admissions system was corrupt. If you had the money, you had a way in. And no, I don't just mean the pay-off-a-coach-to-get-your-kid-in way in.
Unfortunately, there are and always have been lots of other methods to take advantage of the system if you had the money. However, the reality of the situation is that not all of the perpetrators were Lori Loughlins or CEOs with a boatload of money. In a sense, my family, too, is guilty.
No, my parents did not bribe anyone to let me into USC, nor did they donate a fat wad of cash right before I applied. However, I did go to a college-preparatory school for 13 years. Being a private school, my grade's population never surpassed 90 kids, and my classrooms were on average around 15 students. Throughout my 13 years in private school, I acquired a solid foundation that would later give me a leg up when applying for college.
The small classroom sizes fostered my academic curiosity and intellect. This intimate learning experience benefitted me extremely, and I was able to fully utilize my academic potential. If I struggled with a concept, I could easily meet with my teacher outside of class, or ask my many questions in class. Additionally, if there was a subject that I simply didn't get (like physics, for example…) I was fortunate enough to be able to get a private tutor.
Another privilege that came with private education was the authentic teacher-student relationships I had. At my school, we called our teachers by their first names- sometimes we even got coffee with them outside of school. They were like our mentors. So, when the time came to apply for college, most, if not all, of the students had at least one or two teachers to ask for a letter of recommendation. I've heard that these letters would sometimes be the difference between a student's rejection or their acceptance. I also had a fantastic college counselor from school who wrote a letter of recommendation and made calls to colleges on my behalf. Just going to the school I went to gave me a leg up, as my school had many strong prior relationships with big-name schools around the nation.
Through my years in private education, I was prepared for the standardized testing that would come in my later high school years. Starting from kindergarten, my writing, reading, and math skills were conditioned and developed. This helped me score a high-percentile score on the SAT. And on top of this prior advantage, I also received thorough 1-on-1 SAT tutoring outside of school and also took multiple mock-exams in a proctored location through the same program. I was also able to receive therapy for my test-taking anxiety.
It could be said that the world was, and still is, my oyster. Not because I'm some extremely deserving genius, but because of the situation I was fortunate to be born, or rather, adopted, into. Because of the advantages, I grew up with, I was able to fully achieve my academic potential as a kid. This not only helped me get into my dream college but also fueled my passion for learning as well as dreaming.
So, while I may not be an Olivia Jade, I must acknowledge the immense privilege that has allowed me to reach this point in my life. And for that, I will be forever grateful. But even though our "situations" may be completely out of our control, that doesn't mean it's okay to be ignorant, elitist, or narcissistic. I wish everyone could be given the same shot as the other guy. But unfortunately, the world just doesn't work that way.
The truth is, if you have money, you will inherently have more opportunities. You will be able to get into more prestigious colleges. You will be on the path towards higher-paying jobs. And likewise, you will continue the cycle of wealth and capitalism that has existed for decades.
So while we can choose to hate or damn the wealthy, we should instead be asking ourselves, "What can I do to make the most out of the opportunities that I've been given?" Because even though some people may pay, cheat, or lie their way to the top, the honest, longer route is extremely viable and in fact, preferable. Some people will get there faster, and that's just unfortunate. But that's just the way the world works.
But this should not discourage you-- remember that there's not one way to become successful, nor is there one way to be able to lead a happy, fulfilling life. So dare to be bold. Strive for authenticity and humbleness.
You'll be amazed to see how far that will take you.