I bought my first Juul in late September of last year. I'd tried it before when offered at house parties or the college bars in town, sometimes even from close friends. It was normalized in my mind to the point where I truly thought I should get one for myself. Half of everyone I knew had one, and I was practically leeching off my best friend's Juul anyway, so I caved. I went to a store downtown and bought the starter pack: a variety of pod flavors, a tiny USB charger, and of course, the Juul itself. It sat in my desk drawer for three days, unopened.

I think a part of me was unsure, probably the part of me that knew this was a bad idea. I was aware that the pods contain nicotine, a highly addictive and dangerous chemical, but at the time, that was so easy to rationalize in my mind with a "but everybody's doing it" or "it's no worse than drinking, which is a normal thing to do in college." I focused on the fact that I wasn't smoking real cigarettes. I convinced myself that vaping was different, that it was safer.