My Personal Views On Abortion Part One
For such an important issue, we need to start with how to have a conversation about it.
Before I begin to talk about my personal views, I think we need to start with how to have a conversation about abortion. Because there is no point to reading this article if you are just looking to affirm your view or to attack the opposing side. In fact, the goal of reading any political article should be about considering the other side and being civil about it. Sad to say, I rarely hear civil conversation about abortion. It usually ends up being a name-calling competition, with pro-choice individuals calling someone "anti-woman." Perhaps you hear a pro-life person use the label "baby killer." Both are wrong to do this, especially since the labels don't fit. There are pro-life women and most, if not all, are not crazy people that are against women rights. There are many pro-choice individuals that don't consciously think "I want to kill babies."
This is due to the state of politics. We have what many call the "good versus evil" climate where your position is good and the other person's is evil. I am not denying that there are certain beliefs that are evil, but this specific political view is dangerous and dehumanizes people. It also creates close-mindedness in individuals, which is not good. We need to be open-minded and seek the truth. When a society does this, we usually progress in a better direction and improve. If you disagree, just look back in history at empires and nations that became close-minded.
I also think abortion is one of the hardest topics to discuss because it is sensitive. People get heated about immigration and taxes, but people get fired up about abortion. Back in my freshman and sophomore year of college, I had two assignments to write about a controversial issue and support my position on it. My professors said we were allowed to pick any issue, except abortion. At first I thought, why? Aren't they for freedom of speech? Well they are, but it is because they realized how difficult it is to discuss it without getting emotional. Plus, my classmates and I peer reviewed each other's papers. Could you imagine how some people would react while editing someone's paper on abortion? I personally think my professors were smart about this. However, this does not mean we should never talk about abortion. If we choose not to talk about it, then the issue becomes worse. Choosing to not talk about a sensitive issue does not make it go away.
I would like to also acknowledge one thing I hear pro-choice women say to pro-life men that I think is wrong. I hear them say "you are not a woman, which means you cannot say anything about abortion." If that logic were correct, then these women should never criticize masculinity, because they are not men. But I have no problem with a woman talking about masculinity, even if I disagree with many of their views. The same could be said about our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I have never served in the military and I don't know what fighting is like, does that exclude me from saying that invading Iraq was a mistake or that we need to stay in Afghanistan? No, it doesn't. So men should be allowed to talk about abortion. Also, that is hypocritical because I don't hear pro-choice women saying the same thing to pro-choice men. You are not discussing the issue or even arguing your position, you are basically demonstrating you don't like someone having a different opinion from you. You may not be consciously thinking that, but that is what you are doing.
And to pro-life individuals who call pro-choice women "baby killers," you are not helping either. How do you expect someone to listen to you when you call them a killer? This name-calling and hostility from either side does not lead to any clarity or truth on the matter.
Because abortion is complex, this is the beginning of a series of articles I am writing. My goal is to present my perspective on the issue, not just repeat what media figures or speakers have said for decades now. I hope to show that effective dialogue can be had about the issue. I will not directly state my position on abortion until the final article, but you will probably infer it from future articles. If this is the only article you read, at least do this. Do not use social media posts or attacks to solve this issue. Talk to someone face to face, make a video, or watch a good debate on it. Keep an open mind and consider the opposing side's background as to why they take their position.If you stick with my series, then I thank you for being open-minded and willing to listen.
5 Respectful And Empowering Ways To Handle Rejection
Not everyone will like you, but not everyone has to.
You work hard, you do the right thing, and the inevitable happens. Someone comes along and begins to give you a backhanded compliment, or if you have the misfortune, a backhanded comment. You are left with a bad taste in your mouth and your day starts to turn sour. When people belittle you and your efforts, here are five respectful and empowering ways to sweeten those moments of rejection.
1. Never give someone a reason to not like you.
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People will say what they want and think what they want, no matter the subject or person of choice. It will not matter who you are or what you do, someone or another manages to pay you their two cents. You have to remember, you did not give them reasons to justify their words or actions towards you. These people who exhibit unwarranted thoughts about you are just another drop in the ocean. They do not define your good intentions or self-worth. They are not for you and you need not place any investigation or worry into the mystery of why they do not like you. You do not have to reason with them any further. Simply look forward to the people who care to be curious and open-minded about you.
2. Kill them with kindness.
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The dead push up daisies, but you plant the seed. Some people will smile proudly knowing they have said something cruel or disheartening to get a rise out of you but look at this as an opportunity. Every moment is a chance for you to choose how you react. Ten percent of life is what happens to you, it is out of your control. Ninety percent of life is what you do about it. Use your words to encourage, not discourage, civil discourse. Say what matters and say it with an honest purpose. State your case and let them respond how they will; you cannot control others, but you can control yourself. Be a good example others have yet to show themselves.
3. Turn the "No's" into a "Yes."
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The poet Sylvia Plath had this to say about rejection: "I love my rejection slips. They show me I try." She was talking about the process of writing literary submissions for publication, but her attitude still stands. This is the mindset it takes to find the success you want out of life. Despite all the people that deny you and your work, there are people that see potential and promise in you. It does not matter how many people say "No" to you. What does matter is the number of times you can get back to work and look forward to that one "Yes." You are working for the "Yes's" in your life. Forget the dream-killers and eye-rollers, they lack the hope and drive you have in what you do. They do not do what you do and do not do it like you do. For every "No" there is a "Yes."
4. Let your work speak for you.
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Sometimes no matter how endearing your elevator pitch sounds or how carefully crafted your resume is, people still find fault where there might not even be any. Your accomplishments are your own and that is something to take pride in. Of course, the right amount of pride separates you from the rest and for the better. Pride and confidence must not become virtues or vices that exceed who you are. The work you put out is an extension of who you are and no one can take that away from you. Work speaks for itself and yourself best, so focus on your goals and let your results stand in for your words people did not value. Your best is rarely seen at the moment of inspiration, usually after the final stroke of the brush has wet the canvas. It is your goal to show that stalwart work ethic in good times and in bad.
5. Your process will protect you.
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Keep working. Rule out the distractions and the doubts, the fears, and the flippant fools. Know that your process will save you in trying times. Work against all odds. At some point, things turn even and add up, but you have to be dedicated and diligent. Your sights are seen only through your eyes and your need is to show others what you see. Until then, your skill, your talent, will be honed with consistency. Show up to your work even when you have not been hit with inspiration. The Kodak moment will present itself through your process. Due diligence is the price of success. Eyes on the prize and nose to the grindstone. No one knows your work better than you.
Be the trampoline that bends the will of gravity-like rejection long enough until you can fly.