I'm The Girl Who Wants To Meet Someone Offline In a World Obsessed With Dating Online
One reader asks for advice on how to meet people in the real world when everyone's glued to their phones.
Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.
Dating in 2020 is tough for many reasons.
Add in the facts that everyone is so glued to their phones and obsessed with connecting online, and things are only that much harder.
Of course, dating apps and meeting people online opens every dater's world to a network of potential lovers they may not have had otherwise (whether that be because they don't live near one another or their paths would have just never crossed had it not been for Instagram). That said, this access also makes it easy for people to always be on the lookout for "more," and so the endless cycle begins.
For this reason, I can totally feel you on the wanting to meet in-person thing, but my advice before you go ahead and look for your next boyfriend or girlfriend "in the real world," keep an open mind.
If you're too set on finding someone a specific way, the chances of it happening — especially the way you want it to — are much lower.
So instead of focusing on meeting someone offline, tap into and be open to all of your options in the process — even if you put more effort into one avenue of dating (meeting in person) than another (meeting online). This will keep you from putting all your eggs in one basket and optimize your chance of success, which (in this case) is finding love.
Now, as you know, there are plenty of places for you to meet people that aren't dating apps, but hooooow?!? (Don't worry, I will be taking my own advice from here on out as well).
Ask friends to set you up with someone they know
Friends of friends are always ideal because the few degrees of separation allow for the distance, but also give you peace of mind in knowing they're at least somewhat normal. It's like having a built-in reference for your date before you actually go out!
Tip: Ask your coworkers if they know any eligible bachelors/bachelorettes as well. But please don't be weird, only ask them if they're your friends.
Do more things solo
Attend concerts, comedy shows, movies, and any other fun events solo — heck, go on a solo vacation! You don't need anyone else to be able to enjoy these things. Worst-case scenario you have a blast by yourself and best-case scenario, you meet someone while waiting on the ticket line or elsewhere at the venue.
Hang out at your favorite spots and disconnect
Spend your free time at your favorite coffee shop, book store, park, etc., and disconnect from technology. If you're busy typing away on your phone or laptop or sitting with your headphones in, you appear busy and unapproachable. That said, if you're sitting there people watching, reading a book, or even drawing, your chances are much higher because it's a little more inviting.
Tip: If you see someone doing this as well, consider going over to them first!
Make eye contact and smile at anyone who interests you
If you see something, say something! This goes for both verbal communication (if you dare) and eye language (this is definitely a thing, right?) But really, if someone catches your eye, try to catch their eye and smile at them. If they're single, interested, or bold enough, they'll walk up to you and start a conversation. That said, if they don't, there's no sweat off your back! Smiles are innocent.
Go out in smaller groups
People are much more approachable when they're out with just one person as opposed to, say, their entire sorority, half of their coworkers, etc.
Tip: Instead of going out in a herd, consider asking one close friend to go out and stand somewhere that people can actually approach you.
Be the first to approach
Why wait? Honestly, there is so little to lose because you'll likely never see them again anyway. So if you approach and it's a flop, you can lick your wounds and move on. The worst thing they will likely say is, "I actually have a [boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner/significant other/you get the point]."
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