Now I know what you are saying, "you're just making excuses because you couldn't get a date" and although that may be true, I didn't really want to date anyway. It became a kind of personal vendetta; a case of me against them. I wanted to see if I could do it, see if I could get through high school without dating, and I did. Actually, I barely did it. I started dating a guy one day after graduation, but that is irrelevant to this story.
I've said it before and I will say it again, dating in High School is dating out of convenience.
Do you remember that Frog And Toad story about the cookies? The one where Frog and Toad need to exercise willpower and put the cookies away instead of eating the whole box? That story is something I have always remembered because I am a person of very little willpower. I don't mean that I am weak-willed because if anything I am stubborn, but I have always struggled with not eating the last cookie or seeing projects through to the end. About Sophomore year I realized that all I wanted to do was find a cute boy and do what my friends were doing. I was frustrated with myself not being "good enough" or "attractive enough" to find a boyfriend and I wasn't paying attention to loving myself.
That was the moment I decided to stop it. To stop chasing boys and start chasing myself. OK, that sounds weird, but my point is I started trying harder to love myself and not put my own worth in what the boy I had a crush on thought of me. My whole outlook on dating changed and I started thinking more about what I wanted for myself and less of when I would find the right guy.
This is not Barbie and Ken, this is real life.
Unless you're living in a Hallmark movie, the 1950s, or the American Dream, you are not going to find the love of your life in the group of people you have spent your whole childhood learning career with. As my Grandmommy told me that one time, "you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself" and halfway through my high school endeavor I truly understood what that meant.
So yes, I made it all the way through high school without dating a single person. Even though it was trying and there were many lonely days, I did it. It really was for the best, I spent some of the most shaping years of my life focusing on myself. I learned to love myself for who I am and the positives and negative sides of me. I developed deep friendships with the people around me that have lasted longer than any high school relationship I know of.
The person I am today is one I am so proud to be. Not dating anyone in high school didn't stop me from having life experiences or growing as a person or even having crushes. It didn't stop me from doing anything. All it did was show me that there is more out there in the world than the cute guy in my AP Gov class. Not dating in high school changed who I am, and I am so glad it did.
People Have More Trust Issues Than Ever Today, Thanks To Social Media
The concept of social media cheating is on the rise.
The dating world has really changed not only within the amount of time that has gone by since our parents have started dating but within the last decade as well due to the rise of social media. Social media is a beautiful thing, more people are connecting on social media from near and far, old friends and in new, and you can learn a lot about a person just from their social media profile.
Social media has also brought the rise of online dating, and what people say, "sliding into the DMs" (sending a direct message) to someone who you think is cute and want to get to know them better has diversified the dating scene ten-fold.
However, when in a relationship and you see how your partner reacts to other people's posts with comments and likes. Thoughts run through your head trying to figure out if your significant other is cheating or not. In 2014, there was a Pew Research study survey that was conducted finding out that 45 percent of millennials say social media has a BIG impact on their relationships.
In an age where we turn to our phones when in silence, is possibly the new silent relationship killer. In fact, you are more likely to reach for your phone after sex, than your partner, which can possibly lead to intimacy issues. It also gives the impression that your partner prioritizes their phone over the relationship.
Also, have you ever seen couples that post pictures together for what seems like almost every day? Post behavior like this is frequently linked to relationships that have more trust issues. With the constant need to reassure your followers that you are 'in a relationship' and maybe to prove to your partner that you are committed to them. I personally have been in a situation like this where I would post an annoying amount of times about my significant other a week, and when I look back and think about it, and through my research, that it really makes sense for people to act this way, and post that much. It's not to reassure your followers, it's to reassure your significant other.
There also comes the complication with likes and comments. Some people can get offended if you like and/or comment on someone's post. It's like having the impression that it 'is more than just a like' and that you are trying to drop hints to that person. I have also been in this situation as well, where I would like a post (that was a guy friend of mine) and my significant other found out. He got really upset with me, and the whole situation turned into a huge fight because he took the like as 'more than just a like' when most of the time, it's not. And this fight wasn't just a one-time thing. Likes and comments on other people's posts can (for some people) be defined as 'social media cheating'. Which yes, can be a thing if you are in a relationship and are messaging people being all flirty and what not. But when it comes to just liking a picture? That really doesn't mean anything at all. Plus, the benefit of the doubt should always be taken if there is nothing to worry about.
With the impression that your partner may be cheating on social media, they can possibly ask for access to your phone, just to keep tabs on what you are doing. I made this mistake with one of my relationships and I learned to find out after the break up that he unfollowed A LOT of my guy friends and would check and see which posts I liked. THAT IS A BIG NO NO. And if it does really come to that, that person has too many trust issues. You can try and work through them, but time and time again if they find something to get mad at you about, the relationship will break.
You can't have a relationship without trust. And with the rise of the concept of 'social media cheating' more and more people are getting skeptical on what their significant others are really up to. Some people make it a bigger deal than it needs to be, but this is still an issue that faces the dating world for the past decade, and probably from here on out!