Don't resort to the over-used phrases or language other angry human beings across the nation use every day. Do you really want to resort to being one of the million people partaking in the f-bomb phenomenon? No, you can do better. Here are a few original phrases to keep in mind the next time you want your anger to truly show while saving face:
1. I hope you step on a Lego
A classic line, but it never grows old. I mean, seriously, do you realize how much those little blocks hurt?
2. I hope the show your binge-watching gets taken off of Netflix when you're halfway through the series
There is nothing worse than getting hooked on "One Tree Hill" less than a week before it is taken off of Netflix. I still wonder what ever became of Haley and Nathan...
3. I hope your computer decides to update when you are in the middle of an online assignment that doesn't automatically save your progress
We have all had that moment during the breakthrough of an essay when your laptop makes that dying turtle sound and announces it will be updating for the first time in three months, leaving approximately 52 hours before you can even look at your paper again.
4. I hope your Webkinz dies from loneliness after the seven years you went without logging on
c1.staticflickr.comHas anyone checked on their Webkinz pets recently? Moment of silence for all those forgotten...
5. I hope someone spoils the new Star Wars before you get to see it
media1.tenor.comAll you Star Wars fanatics out there, I see you, I respect you, and I know I would be better off revealing top secret information than telling any of you what happens in the next installment of the series. On another note, Han Solo died and I am ready to start talking about it.
6. I hope you enter your room and can't remember why you went in there for a solid ten minutes
Let's face it. You won't remember what you walked into the room for until you are falling asleep at midnight, by which point you are far too lazy to do the thing you should have done earlier.
7. I hope you step in a puddle and have wet socks for the rest of the day
media.giphy.comRainy days on campus are always a risk when you refuse to slip on your rain boots. The only worse thing than wet socks is when the cuffs of your jeans get wet too.
8. I hope water sprays you in the eye when you are rinsing off your spoon in the sink
media.giphy.comSurely I am not the only one who has been temporarily blinded by dishwater while attempting to clean a serving spoon.
9. I hope the person next to you on a plane takes his or her shoes off as soon as the flight begins
To the people who think it is acceptable to take their shoes off in public, you know what you are doing, and you know it is wrong. Stop.
10. I hope the handle of your spoon falls into your soup after the first bite
GiphyWhat a great joy to finish the rest of your meal with food on the handle of your only utensil. Bonus points if it happens while you are eating a meal with people you do not know well.
11. I hope the same song comes on the radio every time you get in the car
You know that one song you hear every single time you turn on the radio? You are tired of it, but you know every lyric by heart, and you have it in your head more than your own thoughts.
12. I hope the sunburn you get at the beach this summer never turns into a tan and peels for a solid week
media.giphy.comOh, this sunburn isn't too bad. I'll just put some aloe on it and wait for it to turn into a nice tan. How funny. You thought!
13. I hope you accidentally like a photo of your crush when you are five years deep into his or her Instagram feed
GiphyI have had actual nightmares about accidentally liking a post my crush's ex-girlfriend from middle school tagged him in on a Facebook account that I'm not even sure she knows the password to anymore.
14. I hope your phone dies right before you plug it in
We all know that moment of truth when your phone shows the dangerous 1% and you are forced to sprint across the room, hurtle across a chair, push your little sister out of the way, and scramble for the charger. Do you really want to do all that in vain?
15. I hope you hit your ankle on a Razor scooter
GiphyArguably worse than stepping on a Lego, the ankle-hit by the Razor scooter has been a dreaded across by all, young and old. Not only does it result in excruciating pain, but also embarrassment and a subconscious fear of the scooter that lasts into adulthood.
So next time you feel the need to let out your anger in one of those unclassy, yet oh-so-overused, ways, consider one of these. You will not be disappointed.
