Which is why I'm here, now. If you don't want to read, please follow along for my Car Confessions.
I'm not going to lie, I have been struggling a lot with my oldest lately. 5-years-old is a rough age for not only the kid but as a parent. These kids are being introduced to bullying, becoming more independent, showing off to look cool, and still trying to function between what's right and wrong. As a mom, I'm here just trying to make sure my kid is happy and has everything. Yet, unintentionally, if my husband and I like it or not, I've created a monster. A spoiled little brat of a monster. Ooops.
I'm not one for character clothing and I definitely put in enough effort so my kid stands out by looking confident. I went into this new school district with their required uniforms with more than just polos and khaki shorts. I gathered a supply of bowties, ties, vests, blazers, and button-up shirts. Nearly $300 later, I wish I could go back, ha! And as most occasions, my kids are super grateful for what is given to them. Except for this instance...
Character week was coming up at my kid's school, which is a whole different realm for being an individualized kid because they get to drop the tacky school uniforms and wear what they want to wear. One day was superhero day. I had asked my son what he wanted to wear for this and he replied with his usual obsession, Sonic the Hedgehog. This kid has been obsessed with Sonic since he was 3. So I went out and shopped at multiple stores looking for a Sonic t-shirt, which was difficult in itself, but also one that wasn't overly dramatic.
After completely humiliating myself in front of a bunch of strangers because my incompetent self doesn't know how to parallel park, I tried multiple parking spots and finally landed one easy pull-in spot, popped into H&M downtown Savannah, and grabbed a Sonic t-shirt! My son was beyond thrilled! He kept asking me when he could wear this Sonic shirt every single day. Did I mention that I tried multiple stores already?
"...we appreciate everything our mamas do for us."
On the day of Superhero day, my son decides to have a meltdown. Now, I'm not the best with my patience and meltdowns. There are way too many occasions, especially in the morning, where I have to really talk myself down from having a meltdown towards my kids because calm, nurturing parenting does not come naturally for me. So now my once very excited kid didn't want to wear his new favorite Sonic t-shirt. Would you like to know why? Because it didn't have enough blue in it! Enough freaking blue!!!
I went into my bathroom, locked the door, and decided to have a little cry. I understand that young children, or even teenagers, don't always understand how far parents go for their kids. Despite the deadbeat mothers and fathers out there (yup, that's being honest), there are parents out there who go above and beyond for their kids. And when it is met with disappointment, the feeling of being defeated sinks in and it sinks in deep.
As I cried in my bathroom, I had remembered a moment a few weeks or maybe months ago where I had taken this same exact son to go shopping for some unique school uniform accessories. Clearly, if you can't tell by now, I ended up at H&M and he had picked out a character t-shirt. I hesitated for a moment and decided he could also add that to the pile. As I'm at the cash register, a young 18-year-old boy was ringing me up when he heard me whisper under my breath, "I hope you appreciate this one day." The young boy responded, "We do. We appreciate everything our mamas do for us." God, I wanted to cry at that moment. It just spoke so much volume to me and it instantly vanished my tears when I remembered this moment.
These kids are young. We were once there too. They don't understand the full extent that we push ourselves to make sure every need and want is met for them. So it's only natural to feel defeated and maybe a little heartbroken when a successful thing is met with the child's distaste. But in the end, remember, there will eventually come a day where they'll appreciate all that you've done for them.
You've got this, mama!
Sophomore Year, 2015-2016
Junior Year, 2016-2017
Senior Year, 2017-2018
