'Surviving R. Kelly' Shows How Poorly Society Still Handles Sexual Abuse

'Surviving R. Kelly' Shows How Poorly Society Still Handles Sexual Abuse

Watching the documentary, it was clear that the reason why it was so swept under the rug and why R. Kelly was found not guilty was because these girls were minorities.

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The other night, when I should have been studying for my MCAT's, I was flipping through TV channels in my living room and I stumbled across, "Surviving R. Kelly" on Lifetime. I usually hate Lifetime documentaries but something about this one was so intriguing to me that I couldn't change the channel.

I assume it was because growing up, everyone in the black community had polarized opinions about him. People either loved him or hated him. And hated him for a good reason. Since I was younger, I've heard rumors about R. Kelly's behavior... the sexual assault, the child pornography, and the luring of teenage girls. But this documentary was more than just reiterating what we all already heard... this documentary tried to get to the root of it and pull substantial evidence from recordings, eyewitnesses, and first-hand accounts.

But something that haunted me when I was finished watching the six episodes of the special was that stories like these aren't unique. The sexual assault of young women happens literally EVERY DAY, by family members, friends, and even total strangers. But what interested me, was the sociological impact it had on our community. The fact that the issue like this is so swept under the rug is truly devastating.

What also struck me was that during R. Kelly's trial for child pornography, many fans (whom being black women) stood outside the courthouse and supported him throughout his trial. I mean... like dang, this guy is literally ON TRIAL for CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. A victim in situations like this could be anybody: You, your daughter, your best friend, your niece, etc. and they decided to SUPPORT this perverted creature? It's sickening. It's something that really makes me upset because I feel like sexual abuse just isn't talked about in the black community as much. It's something that's borderline "normal" or if it happens no one will believe you. It's terrible because people should stand by victims and believe them.

Watching the documentary, it was clear that the reason why it was so swept under the rug and why R. Kelly was found not guilty was because these girls were minorities. The jury said that they didn't believe the girls who got up on the stand to testify against R. Kelly about the video, and although it wasn't explicit, it's clear that it's because they were young ethnic females. Do I believe that the process would have been speedier and that he would have been found guilty if his victims were white, young women? Of course. It's just sickening that these minority youths didn't get a chance to see their predator locked up.

I will admit, the reason why he was also found not guilty could have been due to the fact that he was rich, famous, a genius with music, charismatic, etc. But this poses an even bigger issue: Why are the stories of these young girls debased because of a famous person?

Don't their lives, sanities, and physical wellbeings matter more than a #1 hit on Billboard's Top 100?

It truly baffles me how people STILL support this man, even though there's so much evidence implicating him as a child predator. We should be holding this man and ALL THE ABUSERS OUT THERE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AGAINST THESE VICTIMS. This needs to STOP. We need to stop giving people like this the time of day and enabling them to continue this god-awful behavior.

That's why the #MeToo movement is SO IMPORTANT! We need the narratives of these victims in order to end the disgusting cycle of sexual abuse in our society. Situations like these need to be brought to light and taken seriously.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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8 Hurtful Comments That Sexual Assault Survivors Were Told After Their Attacks

"If you didn't meet him on the internet, it probably wouldn't have happened."

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Trigger warning: sexual assault

Ignorant comments about sexual assault are not only unjustified but they are extremely hurtful.

Recently, comments about the dancers in Cardi B's Grammy performance created some serious fury. Comments like: "Wow, look at the way those girls are dancing! They are just ASKING to be raped." are not acceptable, and its time we discuss the power of words over sexual assault survivors.

I asked survivors of sexual assault to share the hurtful comments that have been said to them or around them. There is no place for ignorant comments anymore.

Are you sure you're not making this up?

"I was raped at a college party by a boy who went to the same high school as me, both my parents knew about the incident. Frequently, they make offensive comments, including after I shared with them what had happened: 'Are you sure you were actually raped? Are you just making this up?'" - anonymous

The #MeToo movement is bullshit

"The #MeToo movement is such bullshit. Most of them are lying anyway." - anonymous

You were the problem

"I was 19-years-old when I was raped, and I was drunk at a party when it happened. I don't remember much of it except when he finished and left me there to pull my pants up myself. Next day I went with a couple of friends to get a rape kit done. I didn't know if I would tell my mom but I decided I would and instantly regretted it. We don't talk about it ever anymore.

My mom told me that my rape was my own fault because I was drunk. She said to me, 'I've been drunk in public many times and that never happened to me. The fact that you're drunk is the problem.'" - anonymous

You're lying

"I had multiple friends say I was lying." - anonymous

Stop saying your test "raped you"

"Comments like, 'that test raped me' or 'I'm about to get raped by my final' are said often by people who have no idea what I have gone through." - anonymous

You can't be raped if you met him on a dating app

"I was in a relationship, forced by him and then forced to stay in the relationship.

'If you didn't meet him on the internet, it probably wouldn't have happened.' - The guidance counselor at my high school

'How are you still in the relationship with him now if you didn't want it?' - My ex-best friend."

But he's your boyfriend?

"How can it be rape if you're in a relationship"

Words like these are incredibly painful for those who have experienced sexual assault. Whether you know someone who has been assaulted or not, please be careful in the way you talk around and about them.

Sexual assault survivors are often surveying a room or situations to check if they are safe there. Watch how you talk about abusers and those who make allegations, especially now that sexually assault talked about in the media quite commonly.

If you are unable to change the way you speak about sexual assault, offenders, survivors, scenarios, or tossing around the word "rape" in an unnecessary context, please keep your mouth shut.

And remember, sexual assault survivors NEVER asked for it.


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