Okay, so you're either reading this because you agree, or you completely disagree and are going to try and prove me wrong.

"But I've heard so many resolution success stories!"

"It's practically a staple of society now!!"

"Resolutions are all everyone talks about at parties, so I HAVE to make something up!!!"

I feel you, I really do, but do you know what you can tell those people? That they can SHOVE IT.

Before they get all offended, you can tell them that less than 8% of New Year's Resolutions are actually successful and result in more stress returning from your holiday break than a person can really handle.

Picture this: you've just returned from your winter break with its parties, crazy family drama, and drinking, only to sit down at home and try to learn a new language, lose 15 pounds, meditate daily, and keep several bullet journals since you read in an article that it would "keep you mindful."

If this sounds familiar, I am so sorry. The New Year doesn't have to be this way; setting goals for yourself is smart, and I'm not going to poke the metaphorical Goal Bear, but this is actually an incredibly counterproductive way of trying to achieve them. Going from doing absolutely nothing to doing everyone is going to give you goal-whiplash in the worst of ways. Instead, try and bite off your goals in manageable chunks instead of all at once. For example, learning a language is wonderful! It makes you a more worldly human being, reduces the potential of dementia and Alzheimer's, and gives you another party trick. It is not a reasonable goal, however, to try and become fluent in a year. Instead, start slowly and surely and integrate that new habit of studying into your life. The same goes for getting active: start slowly and surely, or you'll putter out before you really even start.

Another thing: for the most part, resolutions are based around what you think is expected of you rather than what you actually need. Many of them are (for the most part) healthy choices, but they aren't the most important things for you personally. Sure, losing 15 pounds is probably a good idea, but do you know what may be a better idea? Getting your budget back on track before hitting the dumb track. Societal expectations shouldn't dictate what's important for you.

Lastly, the timing of these resolutions is actual ASS. January is the start of the new year, not the new YOU, so continue living your life day by day and improve yourself with the passage of your own life, not the calendar. This is going to sound cheesy, I know, but your life isn't sectioned off in 365-day portions: some parts move more quickly than others, and trying to shove a goal into a spot where it shouldn't fit isn't going to help anyone.

So remember, find time to better yourself on your own terms, and tell people where they can put their New Year's Resolutions: back into the Void of Bad Decisions.