In the summer months leading up to my first semester in college, I did not know what to expect. I knew I was going to a completely different school in a completely different city with completely different people. I was always a fairly quiet person and while I knew this change would be out of my comfort zone, I also felt as though I would adjust fairly quickly. I thought I would find those who liked what I liked and it would be as simple as that.
Boy, was I wrong.
Little did I know how long the days leading up to the start of classes and clubs would feel. There was so much happening, yet it felt like there was so much downtime. Unsure of what to do with myself in this completely new place, I felt overwhelmed and did only what I thought I should be doing... befriending my roommate and a few other girls on the floor. I felt better knowing I had people I could talk to, but of course, I still felt lost. I lost the comfort of my family and childhood friends. I felt like everyone around me was making friends so much faster than I ever could, and being the introverted teenager I am made it that much worse.
It seemed as though almost everyone I talked to was completely different than me and into different things. I kept thinking, when will I find my people? When will I find the people who like what I like and feel the same way I do? Going through these first few days, it felt like I was never going to feel better. Yearning for my bedroom back home, my friends, and my family, I was still scared. Even after hanging out with numbers of acquaintances and having momentary instances of happiness and fun, I would go back to my fits of sadness the minute it was over.
Finally, when Tuesday rolled around and classes began, I already felt better. I was starting a routine and was not stuck figuring out what to do the entire day. I was given the comfort of having something to do, even if it was the stressful concept of schoolwork. The moments I was on my own did not feel as bad as it had the day before. Even though I had countless family members telling me I had to give it time, I thought I would never get over feeling as unhappy as I did those first few days. Yet, here I am on the first day of classes, already feeling slightly better with my current situation.
So, during my first week at college, I had already learned so much. I realized that the way I was feeling was normal, that while there are people who do not feel the same way I do, there are in fact people who do. I also realized that because I am not as outgoing as other people, it will take clubs and classes for me to find the people I connect best with. Finally, I have realized that all good things take time. While now I may feel lost and lonely, there will come a day where I find where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be there with.
To everyone like me, let us not feel defeated by the obstacles we are facing but feel grateful for this time to learn and grow as individuals. Our time for complete comfort and happiness will come, there isn't a timeline for when we should begin to feel better. Take every day one step at a time.
