Reach Out To Your Friends, You Never Know If They're Going Through A Dark Time

Reach Out To Your Friends, You Never Know If They're Going Through A Dark Time

A simple hello can do a lot of good.


With the passing of so many celebrities like Kate Spade, due to mental illness, I think it's really important that we don't stop having that discussion on the importance of mental health. It seems like every time someone dies of suicide, every is sad for a couple of days, the media talks about mental health, and then it's swept under the rug until it happens again.

Mental illness isn't something that can just go away and can be cured with a "Stop thinking about it" or "Get over it" pep talk. It's because of phrases like these that people who do have a mental illness or are just going through a difficult time are too scared to reach out for help. Don't be hesitant to reach out to your friends who are showing signs that they are going through something.

Social media platforms seem to be where people like to vent. I've seen people tweet very vague but concerning things and I immediately reach out to them. Sometimes it's about nothing and sometimes it's the person trying to ask for help but not directly. If you're someone who is going through something, remember this:

You're not weak if you ask for help.

Even if the person you're reaching out to doesn't want to talk, just knowing that you reached out to them is a step. Maybe they'll come talk to you, but don't give up on them. Keep checking in.

If you're reading this and saying to yourself that you don't want to talk to someone you know, you have options. There's the Crisis Text Line, where you can talk to a trained crisis counselor anonymously through text message and they are available 24/7.

Recently, I had reached out to a good friend of mine who I hadn't talked to in a while. All I had said was "Hey! How's it going?" and it was a really brief conversation. A few weeks later when my friend and I had actually talked on the phone, she confided in me that she was going through a rough time and was in a bad space and that me texting her that simple question brought some positivity to her day. If she didn't tell me this, I would've never known that this was happening.

So, reach out to your friends. Reach out to strangers that you follow on social media. A simple comment, compliment, a hello, can turn around someone's day. This isn't going to solve all the problems in the world, but by doing this, it's a start in the right direction to have a discussion about mental health. It's a start in the right direction to make mental illnesses less of a taboo subject.

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Sorry I'm A Size 00

But I'm not really sorry.

My whole life I’ve been thin—which is kind of an understatement. Every time I go to the doctor I get the same “you’re underweight” lecture that I’ve heard every year since I was able to form memories. I’ve never really felt insecure about my weight, I love being able to eat everything and not gain a single pound. Since my freshman year of high school I’ve probably only gained 8 pounds and I’m now a sophomore in college. Of course, in school, there were rumors that I was anorexic or bulimic, but everyone who knew me knew that was far from the truth. I’m now 19, 5’2, and I still have yet to break 100 pounds on the scale. It seems that there is a lot of skinny shaming going around and to me, one of the main contributors to that is the Dove Real Beauty campaign.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this because skinny girls get all the praise and other body types are neglected. That’s really not true, though. While loving other body types, you are tearing down skinny girls. Why is it okay to do that to skinny girls but not to other body types? Why is it okay to say “only dogs like bones” or say “every body type is beautiful” until you see a model's abs, or ribs, or thigh gap and then tear them down because they’re “unnaturally” skinny?

The point I’m trying to make is that, as a naturally skinny girl, I have never shamed anyone for their body type, yet I go every day and get at least two comments about my weight. I’m always the skinny girl, the toothpick, but I’m not Jessica. Yeah, I’m a size 00. Get over it. If you have an issue with my body and feel like my body is disgusting to you, don’t look at it. I know that I’m healthy and I don’t need your input when my body just naturally burns calories fast. I don’t have an eating disorder and never have. I am real beauty though, and I know that because I’m comfortable in my own skin. So maybe the real issue is that we as a society have been shoving certain body types down our daughters’ throats so they begin to romanticize models that have certain standards that they have to meet, who work hard for the bodies that they have, and are making a hell of a lot more money than most of the people discussing why they look emaciated while what they’re actually looking at is the photoshopped product.

I’m not going to apologize for being skinny when that is just how my body is, I can’t help it. So please, stop tearing my body down while trying to bring your body up. You can praise your body without shaming skinny girls. Shaming me for being thin does not make you better than the man that shamed your body, just as me shaming you for being curvy does not make me better than the man that shamed my body. As women, we need to love each other because we are the only ones who truly understand each other.

Cover Image Credit: Victoria's Secret Untouched

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Not Everyone's Struggle Is Life Or Death, And That's OK

Someone's going to have it worse than you because that's how life is, but that doesn't make your problems meaningless.


I was in probably 9th or 10th grade when I heard something that stuck with me. They said, "Think about this the next time you go to complain about your struggles; Someone else has it so much worse. Someone lost a parent or a husband today."

While this is true, I don't agree with it.

In fact, I think it's the farthest thing from the truth. Obviously, someone's going to have it worse than you because that's how life is, but that doesn't make your problems meaningless.

As someone who has dealt with some terrifying things, I don't want people to feel bad about telling me about their struggles. I wanna know that you've been feeling super depressed or that you bombed your history final. I wanna be there to watch Netflix and eat Chinese with you when you get dumped or take a drive around town because you're confused about life. I wanna know that any time you try to hang out with your best friend, his s.o. tags along and you have no idea what to do about it. I wanna know that you have a fever and need someone to bring you dinner or fill you in on what happened in class.

Yeah, I had a deadly disease, so what? I have days like these all the time.

I was the girl who bombed her history final even though I spent hours studying and the girl who had the flu and needed someone to bring her food. And now, I am a girl who has been trying desperately to not feel like a third wheel every time I get food with my best friend.

And you can be damn sure I complained to my mom about all of it.

My point is, each of us is struggling with something in our lives and we should be able to share it with the people in our lives.

If someone is truly there for you, they won't have any second thoughts about listening to your problems, no matter how minuscule they seem.

And if they do have second thoughts, well they were never really there for you in the first place.

So be honest. If you're having a sucky day, tell your friends. If you bombed a test, tell your classmates because chances are, you're not the only one. If you just found out you're presenting a ten-minute speech in two days, complain to your roommate, then get to work.

Your problem may not be life or death, but if you're struggling, tell someone.

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