As a child, you are taught not to be selfish. You are taught to share your toys, to play nice with others, and to be a caring individual. You are taught to be selfless. Growing up, I was selfless, that was all I knew how to do, I was a people pleaser. But when I came to college, I learned that it is okay to be selfish sometimes. I learned that sometimes, you need to put yourself first and to make sure you are okay before you worry about other people. And that right there, is the most important thing I have learned at college.
Mentally and emotionally drained? Take some time to focus on your mental health.
Your mental health and emotional health are so important. You need to take care of them. If you feel drained, take time to focus on your mental health. If you need to talk to someone, consider going to see a counselor or getting coffee with a friend you know you can vent to. Sometimes talking it through can help you feel that weight lifted off your shoulders. Take the time to journal and express your thoughts on paper. You can only keep so much inside before you hit a breaking point and your mental health deteriorates. Struggling with a mental illness? See a psychiatrist and a counselor on the best way to manage it. You deserve to take that time and focus on your mental health.
Going through a rough patch? Focus on taking care of yourself, but don't hurt your friends in the process.
The Sprinkle of Jesus app sent me an interesting notification one morning and it has stuck with me since. It said "hurt people, hurt people; don't jeopardize new opportunities by casting out the wrong people." I thought, you know, that is true. How often do we close ourselves off to those who care about us because we are hurting? We just end up hurting those who care about us. It becomes this cycle. Honestly, if you are going through something and need space, just simply tell them, "hey, thank you for being my friend and being there for me, I just need some space right now to work out some stuff, maybe we can do something next week." Trust me, I would rather someone say that to me, than just ignore me. If you are someone who needs to be alone when you are going through something, then by all means, do it, but don't hurt those who care about you in the process.
Overwhelmed with life and your future? Take a step back, breathe, and map out what you want.
College is scary time. It seems like half of your friends are getting married, are in serious relationships, having kids, or have their whole life planned out and you are over here just trying to figure out what you are going to eat for dinner tonight. It is okay to stop and take a deep breath and try to figure out what you are going to do next. Sometimes plans change and what you thought was set in stone changes. Change is scary but sometimes it can lead to the best things to ever happen to us. Map out your goals and figure out how you are going to get there now that you hit a road block. Sometimes we can still reach the same goals, just a different way than what we planned originally. Take it one step at a time and remember to breathe.
Needing some alone time? Treat yourself.
We spend so much time pleasing others and surrounding ourselves with people that we forget to take some time to focus on self love. If you need some alone time and you are going through a lot, treat yourself. Maybe go get a massage, get dinner by yourself, get your nails done, or go for a run. Spend time focusing on your overall wellness. You are deserve time to focus on some self love once in a while.
Struggling in your relationship with God? Pull out your bible and give yourself 20 minutes a day to just focus on your relationship with Him.
I cannot tell you enough how important it is to focus on your relationship with God when you are struggling. He can guide you through your struggles and heal you in a way no one else can. Even 20 minutes a day dedicated to focus on your relationship with Him can make a difference. Whether it be in prayer, listening to worship music, or pulling out your bible, you can strengthen your faith and heal yourself spiritually.
College is a scary time. Becoming an adult is a scary thing. You are going to go through shit you never thought you were going to have to face and you just might feel like you are facing it alone. But remember, sometimes you need to take that time to focus on yourself and be selfish once in a while. Sometimes, being selfish, even just for a few hours, can save your mental, emotional, and spiritual health.