When I looked at my reflection, I came to the conclusion that my mirror was being dishonest. It was a lie, I would never let myself get to such a weight.
Yet, there I stood with an invisible jawline, thighs decorated with stretch marks, a stomach with more rolls than rock, and a massive bum.
I felt disgusting.
Severely homesick, I spent most days avoiding the Oregon rainfall in my closet of a dorm. My once active body had become accustomed to stillness for I only separated from my mattress to attend lectures. Oregon was beautiful like I knew it would be, but the sky was always cloudy and I was forced to go weeks without seeing the sun. I soon learned to cry with the sky. I ached to be home in California.
I spent nights consuming copious amounts of sugar trying to taste the sweetness that was absent in my life. My body was paying for my cowardice.
Somewhere in the last month, I had lost who I was.
In the following weeks, I decided that the girl I was deserved a happy ending and I became determined to write it for her. I researched numerous diets and settled on paleo. Next, I unglued myself from my bed. I put myself on a sleep schedule. I was in bed by nine o'clock and up by 5 A.M., so I could spend an hour at the gym before my morning classes. I focused my full attention on school. I found keeping my nose in a book helped me to escape my depression. I set goals for myself and they gave me purpose.
By the time I stepped off the plane onto California soil, I had lost ten pounds, earned straight As, received a cash reward for my poetry, and was finally feeling like myself again.
The shift from high school to college wasn't easy, but I have found it is better not to let the negatives, no matter how great, control your present and future.
Not Everyone Enjoys Freshman Year of College
Severely homesick, I spent most days avoiding the Oregon rainfall in my closet of a dorm; my once active body had become accustomed to stillness for I only separated from my mattress to attend lectures.