No Shame In The Blame Game - Removing The Sources In Your Life That Don’t Make You Happy

No Shame In The Blame Game - Removing The Sources In Your Life That Don’t Make You Happy

The only thing between you and your happiness is you.

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"We accept the love we think we deserve." - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"How you love yourself / is how you teach others / to love you." - Milk and Honey, Rupi Kaur

"Truly beautiful quotes, but let's give them the hard and honest truth." - Kerre Lattanzio

Here. We. Go.

Know your worth.

Acknowledging sources of unhappiness in your life is hard, and removing them takes guts. Scared? Of course! So stop the effort now, right? You could easily settle today and accept your life for what it is - the good, the bad, and the ugly. And get where? Nowhere. Why set the bar so low when you could be setting the bar so high? The only thing between you and your happiness is you.

Define the sources of your unhappiness.

That class? That job? Your roommate? Friend? Partner? Just 1 of them? How about 3? Maybe you're hitting the jackpot with all five? Welcome to the blame game. The harsh reality is that increasing your happiness is a selfish process. Selfish times call for selfish measures, and that is okay. You happiness is valued and you are simply protecting it. You have to define now in order to say goodbye later.

Break down the advantages and disadvantages.

Real talk: Are these sources benefiting you? Or are you spending more time benefiting them? Are you putting in more effort? Or is the effort mutual? In these circumstances, it is time to focus on what you are gaining rather than what you are giving.

Determine if the sources need to stay or go.

Step one: Imagine life without the sources. Completely mind-blowing step two: Imagine life with the sources. If you are more at ease without, then honey, it's time for that unhappiness to go. You will feel a sense of pride and recognition when something making you happy should stay.

Realize that you are going to be okay.

The first few days living without your sources of unhappiness are the toughest because it is all you know. How will you go on without them?! But amazingly, you do. With each day that goes on, your confidence is increased, and you become rejuvenated in a new routine. Trust me on this. Your future, happier self will thank you.

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Summer In College Is For More Than Just Working

No, you're never to hold to have fun in the summer.

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There should never be an age where you stop having fun in the summer. The weather is nice, there are always things to do, and everyone is just naturally happier. So, regardless of whether you're 7 or 21, I'm talking to you.

During the year it can be hard to find a routine unless you are a very put together person. Sadly, I am not. Even when I tell myself I'm going to eat healthily, work out, and stop procrastinating, I usually don't follow through with that. At school, I find myself in somewhat of a constant catch-up mode. When I feel like I'm ahead on my homework or studying, that usually means I'm behind on being healthy in other aspects of my life. That is why I love summer. It's a chance to reset the clock for a second and catch your breath.

I get that having an internship or working is important for your post-graduation life, but having fun is important for your college years too. When you get a job in the real world, summer is going to look a lot different for you. That is why it's best to take advantage of the time now. This doesn't mean turning down that work experience, it means doing things other than just working.

First things first is finding a hobby you enjoy that you don't do at school. Pick it up for a little over the summer. Why not? For me, this is yoga. For whatever reason, I find myself too nervous to attend yoga classes at school. I have absolutely no reason to be anxious about doing something I like, but I am so I take the time to attend a few classes a week in the summer.

Secondly, try reading. Before you make that look of disgust on your face, think about the last time you read a book of your choosing. If it was recently, then kudos to you for managing your time well enough to do that. If you are not that person, then hello! I am talking to you. I am not a fan of reading because I usually associate it with homework. However, I find that when I have the time to browse the book section of a store for a few seconds, I find multiple books that jump out at me. During the summer I take the opportunity to read a little here and there. The nice part of leisure reading over school reading is that there's no deadline. You can read what you want when you want to.

Finally, learn something new. Again I usually associate learning with things that I am required to learn for my major. Learning something new that interests you is a different kind of rush. When I'm bored in class, I make bucket lists of little things I want to learn about. They can be big or small. One time I wanted to learn how to knit. Don't ask me why my 19-year-old self thought it would be sweet to sit on my porch in the summer knitting, but I did, and I'm kind of sad I didn't pursue that interest. When might I ever have time to learn how to knit again?

These might sound like quirky things to do, but you're young. Make a bucket list and try to cross one thing off each weekend. If you're like me, then you're a little scared of growing up. Scared you won't be able to accomplish all the things you want to. But, the fact of the matter is no one is going to make you accomplish them but you. So, take some initiative and do them. Summer is for more than just working; it's time to live a little and reset the clock.

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DREAM

Everyone in the world, has an individual dream. Whether it be their life dream, their dream vacation, their dream job, their dream family, their dream partner in life, their forever dream. Dreams are what drive us to be the best people we can be. Chase the stars. Here is a poem to remind everyone to never forget their dreams....

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Dreams

"Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow"

By: Langston Hughes


Dreams are what keep me going everyday. The dream of my life. The dream to live where I want. The dream to do what I want. The dream to conquer the world. The dream to succeed. The dream to be happy in my own life.

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