Newsflash, One-Sided Friendships Are Not Fun

Newsflash, One-Sided Friendships Are Not Fun

Didn't think I would have to point this out but apparently some people didn't get the memo.

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I'm so tired of one-sided friendships. I'm tired of having them, I'm tired of seeing my friends go through them, I'm tired of listening to people come to me for advice about them, I'm just tired.

Listen, I know people get busy. But in the world of social media and FaceTime and Snapchat, it is not that hard to contact someone. Especially if that someone is your "friend".

It makes my heart hurt to hear stories of friendships that faded away because only one person was putting in any effort. Friendship is a two-way relationship. That's how they work.

Yet I hear story after story of friendships that consist of one person always reaching out first, always making plans to hang out and always being available for the other person.

And it's more common that it should be. Even I have a friend that the only way we talk is if I call them. The only time we hang out is when I suggest it. And it's exhausting and it's hurtful.

You can't claim to be a friend if you don't make any effort. You don't get to be excited about seeing me if you never make an effort to do so. And that's what hurts about the situation. A "friend" would be doing all of those things but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way.

It's a tough situation to be in. And when faced with it, it's hard to move on from said friendship because they do still communicate, they do want to hang out, but only if you do the work. No one wants to cut off a friendship but at some point it will come to that with one-sided relationships.

My advice to everyone, and myself, is to really evaluate the relationship. Reach out and say "hey it really bothers me that you don't ever seem to think of me", have that conversation. Maybe it will go well, they'll apologize, they'll start to reach out first. But maybe it won't. And if it doesn't, then you have the reason to end the friendship.

So to everyone out there in one-sided friendships, I'm sorry. It's a crappy feeling and a crappy situation and you deserve better. But reach out and then you'll know if they also value you as a friend and make a decision from there. And if you ever need someone to send you cute animal pictures, I got you.

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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To The Friends I Can Be Myself Around

An open letter to those whose friendships I value more than a pint of Graeter's ice cream.

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There are those friends I love and care about deeply, but cannot be my true self around. Someone asked me before, "How can you call someone your friend if you can't be yourself around them?" I don't change myself to accommodate them or act in a manner unnatural to me — I just don't show them some sides of me. Growing up, some of my friends did not understand how I could ever want to write books or how I could love reading so much, so I learned at a young age to keep that side of me to myself. And yes, those are important parts of me, but my friends who did not understand it did accept it, and that was enough. Some thought it bizarre and humorous I love Celtic instrumental music or said some hurtful things about what I love that I realize now wasn't okay. But at the end of the day, there is love between us and common ground where I just remember to not mention some things.

Then there are those friends I can be my complete, unapologetic, authentic self with. The ones who support and encourage you to chase your dreams, even if they don't understand them. The ones who you can cry to about something silly, say whatever is on your mind without regretting it, and who thinks it's preposterous you refuse to fart in their presence because your other friends would give you crap for it (pun intended, and also true story). The ones you stay up late into the night talking about philosophy and crushes until your voices begin to rasp. The ones who are the closest to your heart.

I want to say thank you to these brilliant, caring, beautiful friends, new and old. Your love and support has helped me at all times, through the good and the bad and the boring. I only hope to be the same friend to you, to be open-minded, supportive, and enthusiastic. I believe it is important to cultivate a wide range of friends and support, but many of the friendships I mention earlier will most likely only be kept alive through memories; ours will last many lives to come. I look forward to growing old with you all and growing together.

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