Finding Yourself, Finding Your Soulmate

My Journal to Self Discovery: Day One

Finding myself again....


Dedication: I would like to dedicate this piece to one of the most influential people in my life. This person happens to be my cousin's wife, Shawnae. I've known her for six years this July. I'm lead to believe we have the relationship we do because we are so incredibly similar. I am eternally grateful that I have been given the opportunity to have her as part of my life.

Those of you who are friends with me on social media know I'm taking a break from social media to try and focus on myself. I am currently on day two and I'm amazed. As part of working on myself, I've started a podcast series The Girl Kind broadcasted by Stephanie Dawn Elizabeth.

Now let's back up just a little—why now? Some of you are probably thinking. After another failed attempt at trying to get out on the dating scene again; I had a very serious conversation about not seeking out love and letting it happen. Those of you who know me personally; know that I am a very strong-willed, independent, and stubborn young woman with severe anxiety.

Something I also know, I feel pressure from myself and society to work on finding "the one" and getting married. This has led me to force myself to try to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. The outcome usually leaves me heartbroken and devastated. I am a caregiver and a nurture—so I tend to tell myself, "If I just give it time–they will see that I am valuable girlfriend material even though they aren't looking for a relationship." Trying to fix these men, even though they didn't need to be fixed.

One of my favorite parts of Stephanie Dawn Elizabeth's podcast series is when she talks about social media and the validation we seek from the "likes" and "comments" on social media along with how addictive it can become; while it's okay to seek validation from others you must find it within yourself first because you won't always have others to help you feel validated. I found this part of the podcast extremely inspiring considering I recently decided to take a step back from social media to find myself so I can eventually find myself and eventually find my soulmate.

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Me Saying I Don't Watch 'Game of Thrones' Is NOT Your Cue To Convince Me To Start

"Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you."


Yes, I have flaws. We all do. But it seems as if though my biggest flaw is that I have never seen "Games of Thrones." Nope, not even one single second. I don't know why I haven't seen it, it's not that I'm particularly against the show. I guess it's just too late now for me to start it, as the premiere of the eighth and final season aired April 14th. And for some reason, I just feel that I'm too far behind to even attempt to start it.

But please, I beg of you, do not try to get me to watch it. I don't want to; I've made my decision that I have missed the "Game of Thrones" train and I have accepted my fate. It's OK, you can use your heavy TV series persuasion on someone else, don't waste it on me.

But not being a Thronie (I have no idea if you "Game of Thrones" fans actually use that term, but it's fine) comes with its own set of hardships. Yes, I know that missing out on "unquestionably the most acclaimed and beloved show on television" is probably the greatest hardship, I know, I know.

But trying to scroll through social media while seemingly every single person on my feed is posting about the show? Now that's hard. I see memes left and right, constant reaction videos, clips of scenes that I will never understand. I see people being shocked by certain characters doing certain things to certain other characters and I just cannot understand! It's tough, it really is. I feel like I'm in elementary school, sitting on the bench beside the playground watching all of the cool kids playing together. I feel excluded and uninvited to the party that is the "Game of Thrones" fandom.

It really is hard. It's difficult not understanding the jokes and comments about all the happenings in "Game of Thrones." But to those who are obsessed avid watchers, I apologize. I sincerely am sorry that I can never understand your "Game of Thrones" talk. I am sorry that my inferior self is not interested in your favorite show.

As some character that I will never know in "Game of Thrones" says, "once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you." I have accepted that my major flaw is the fact that I have never seen "Game of Thrones" and that I, unfortunately, have no interest in watching. So please, don't use it against me. Besides, that one character that I don't even know said that you can't anyway.

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A Review on "36 Questions: A Podcast Musical"

Jessie Shelton and Jonathan Groff Star in a Musical Podcast.

“Jase Connelly, answer me honestly. Right now, given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?”

I’ve been listening to podcasts for about a year. I enjoy The Moth, the official Steven Universe podcast, and other storytelling podcasts. I found 36 Questions a couple weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to keep the songs out of my head! It is a podcast musical, meaning all of the music and sound effects are in the podcast, meaning it not supposed to be performed live. I am a huge fan of musicals, so just the phrase “podcast musical” had me ready to download it.

The premise is relatively simple. A couple attempts to complete 36 questions, a scientifically proven way to make people fall in love, or at least become closer. Judith and Jase have been married for a couple of years, before lies are discovered that challenge their relationship, as well as their values as a whole. The cast stars almost solely Jessie Shelton and Jonathan Groff. It also involves a duck named Henry, so if that’s not enough for you to want to listen to it, I don’t know what will be. Jessie Shelton is a musician and actor, while lesser known than her co-star, she is definitely talented. You may recognize Jonathan Groff from Hamilton, Glee, or as the voice of Kristoff from Frozen.

The story is engaging, and I found myself on the edge of my seat after the first two acts, figuratively speaking, of course. I was actually on walks while I was listening to the podcast. The story takes you on an emotional story that stays with you long after your first listen. I found myself considering my relationships in my life, and have now done the 36 questions with my girlfriend and step-dad. I hope Two-Up, the podcast who created the musical, writes more podcast musicals in the future, I look forward to listening!

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