Mental Illness Is A Monster I Live With | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health Wellness

Mental Illness Is A Monster, But I'm Glad I'm With A Monster Hunter

There's no need to romanticize mental illness because it's a monster.

245
Mental Illness Is A Monster, But I'm Glad I'm With A Monster Hunter
Callaghan Carter

I am blessed to have the chemical imbalance that movies, tv shows, and other articles romanticize…there's no need to romanticize mental illness because it's a monster.

This past week I have been depressed when really nothing has happened. My boyfriend started a new job leaving a toxic environment and I was happy for him for a couple of hours, and then I felt numb again. My room is currently a mess, I've either eaten too much or skipped meals, and drag myself out of bed to go to class and when I'm back in my dorm room, I climb back into bed. And that's been my weekly routine so far.

Mental illness is hard on not just the person with mental illness, but it's also hard on the person you're in a relationship with. I don't know how he does it, I honestly feel like my depression makes him depressed at times, and I know I'm exhausting. Being reminded to eat, to drink water, to push through and do homework. It's like taking care of a child at times, but I need the reminders sometimes.

Callaghan Carter

I find my mental illness embarrassing at times.

Like once we were at his dad's and I had a full-fledged anxiety attack in the middle of a conversation, and it was out of nowhere. I walked out of the room and into the bedroom and squished myself between the wall and the bed with the window open trying to fill my lungs with air. I was starting to hyperventilate, and I was crying because I was so embarrassed. My boyfriend, Ethan, came and sat with me and asked if I needed anything, and when I did he brought me a glass of water.

Walking back into the room after was really embarrassing because his dad apologized if it was something he caused. Some of it was (as I look back now), but if I didn't have mental illness my reaction wouldn't have been that severe.

I feel bad when my boyfriend says he'll try to cheer me up because he's the only one who can when I'm really depressed. Cat and dog pics only do so much. I need to be held, I need physical contact. I need someone to tell me I'm okay and I'm not a burden. Because right now, I feel like a really big burden. Not just me, but the baggage that comes with me. My depression and anxiety are a lot for me, and I can only imagine how it is on him.

I'm scared to live with him. I'm scared for him to see me on these bad days. I'm scared for him to see me being "lazy" (what some people call it) but for me, I'm so exhausted emotionally and mentally I can't do simple tasks. I don't want him to think I'm too much.

These are the days I wish I didn't deal with this monster every single day. I wish I could be in a relationship and do normal things like going to a party or hanging out with family without having an anxiety attack. I am so thankful for the relationship I have with my boyfriend, and on the bad days, I have to think that my mental illness has only made us closer in the end, and I am blessed to have a monster hunter by my side.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
ross geller
YouTube

As college students, we are all familiar with the horror show that is course registration week. Whether you are an incoming freshman or selecting classes for your last semester, I am certain that you can relate to how traumatic this can be.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

Bonus points if it is more than two.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

12 Things I Learned my Freshmen Year of College

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

2071
friends

Whether you're commuting or dorming, your first year of college is a huge adjustment. The transition from living with parents to being on my own was an experience I couldn't have even imagined- both a good and a bad thing. Here's a personal archive of a few of the things I learned after going away for the first time.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Economic Benefits of Higher Wages

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

301397
Illistrated image of people crowded with banners to support a cause
StableDiffusion

Raising the minimum wage to a livable wage would not only benefit workers and their families, it would also have positive impacts on the economy and society. Studies have shown that by increasing the minimum wage, poverty and inequality can be reduced by enabling workers to meet their basic needs and reducing income disparities.

I come from a low-income family. A family, like many others in the United States, which has lived paycheck to paycheck. My family and other families in my community have been trying to make ends meet by living on the minimum wage. We are proof that it doesn't work.

Keep Reading...Show less
blank paper
Allena Tapia

As an English Major in college, I have a lot of writing and especially creative writing pieces that I work on throughout the semester and sometimes, I'll find it hard to get the motivation to type a few pages and the thought process that goes behind it. These are eleven thoughts that I have as a writer while writing my stories.

Keep Reading...Show less
April Ludgate

Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments