I am a girl in a small but big town, living a decent life. I used to hear about people overdosing from drugs in different towns and thinking "What a sad loss, another beautiful life gone too soon…. I'm so glad Hamilton is a safe place." Not thinking that it could happen to me… that I could be the one going about my life and getting a phone call one day saying that someone who meant so much to me, died. Addiction does not discriminate; it can happen to anyone. May 29th, 2017 was the day I felt that I was living a nightmare. My mom got a phone call and walked into my room to tell me what had happened. I remember sitting there on my bed and thinking that it couldn't be true. My heart dropped to my stomach and I just sat there not processing it. I immediately picked up my phone to text her, hoping that it was all a rumor... a sick rumor.. and that she would respond, and everything would be fine. My gosh was I wrong. That day still feels like a blur… just like the past year and a half has felt knowing that she is not a text away anymore and that it has been this long without her. It's the little things that remind me of her like sunny days driving with the windows down or being at the beach or watching Netflix. I question myself what I could have done? How I could have helped? If only this… if only that… if only...
You see, life does not prepare us on how to lose someone you love… nor does it teach us how to overcome it—if we ever do. It doesn't teach us how to get rid of the uncontrollable heartache we feel as we say our last goodbyes or the milestones that come and go in a blink of an eye. But somehow, we keep moving forward because we cannot give up. It can take days, months, years to stop blaming ourselves and to stop being angry that they left us here when they promised that they wouldn't. You hear about others that overdosed but made it and wonder why… why was it their time to go? Who gets to decide that people get to die and why do they take them away when they have so much more life to live? We may never know and that is the most heart wrenching and devastating answer ever.
We must stop thinking that addiction won't happen to us or someone we love. It's real and is strong and can happen to anyone, anywhere, no matter someone's socioeconomic status or the way they were raised. If you or someone you know is struggling with an addiction, please reach out for help. You are deserving to get help. Call (1) 888-633-3239 ♡
Sheetal Tadiparty
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