I want to start this piece by saying that this title should not be given a negative connotation. Can it? Of course. But that is not my intention for this piece.
Recently I’ve had many close friends tell me very similar stories with the exception of proper nouns; i.e. names and places. Each time I hear the story, I am frustrated beyond belief for my friends.
I wrote a piece for The Odyssey titled "To The Person I Let Go," and that piece directly relates to this one. In that article, I describe how I have made peace with a friendship that I had to let go of. That still stands true to today. I have forgiven this friend, but I will not forget the way that situation made me feel.
In this article, I want to speak to those who are currently in those friendships that are certainly not upholding the most basic and minimal friendship “requirements,” we can say.
I should have cut this person out of my life before I did. I have a feeling many of you have people in your life that are constantly leaving you feeling disappointed. I am the type of friend that is at least checking in or saying hi every week or so. But that’s me.
Not every friendship is the same because not everyone’s version of a “friend” is the same.
In my instance, my best friend did not see that I held our friendship so highly over my other friends. To her, my friendship was only necessary when her other friends weren’t really around, when she wasn’t hanging out with her cheer squad or drooling over guys. Again, a similar situation may have or may be happening to you.
Not every friendship is the same because not everyone’s idea of a “friend” is the same. The sooner you learn this lesson, the smarter you will be with who you let disappoint you (Hint: It should be no one!).
Cut them out.
This is harsh. But it’s true.
Cut them out.
You are wasting your time on a friendship that will never fulfill your expectations. I waited for months for that specific friendship to change or to get better and it did not. I told that friend constantly about how much she meant to me and that I’d always be in her life.
In the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t a forever friendship. But I held on anyway.
It’s very easy to care so much about someone that you were once close to, or at once made you feel like they were the best kind of friend.
If cutting them out is too harsh for you, let them go.
This article is for those that are struggling to let that person go.
I am telling you that it is OK to let this person go, and let them either leave your life or sort of float around it. Don’t waste any more of your time. Life is too short and it’s too precious to waste your time on anyone that is less than a friend to you.
Give yourself permission to let it go.
Let the friendship go.
Let the bullshit go.
Let it all go.
Focus on the good friendships in your life.
Once you stop allowing these people to affect how you feel, you’re going to feel so much better.
It is OK to feel how you feel.
It is OK to let this person go.
It is OK to take care of yourself.