So I'm writing this before finishing off my sophomore year...so insane to say that I have survived two years in college and learned a lot. Some lessons have been bitter, and resulted in long nights with loss of sleep, and some have put a smile on my face. Either way, both experiences have been eye opening, and no matter how long a night is, daybreak eventually comes. Freshman year was definitely different, and I can honestly say I was a different person. I was out all the time, I partied too much, I didn't give a crap about grades or what I was trying to become or achieve. It was all about living in the moment, and doing whatever I wanted to do. I didn't know what I wanted to study, or how to find the person I wanted to become, or how to even talk to my parents about it. Lost and some dumb decisions pretty much sum it up. Sophomore year wasn't all smooth sailing, and i still have a lot to figure out, but I'm in a much better place than I was last year. I have found a passion for writing and philosophy which I'm now studying, found an amazing group of people I am lucky enough to call my friends, and took the effort to learn more about myself and who I am. I got into a better place mentally and found fulfillment within myself which has been so satisfying. Heres what I learned while doing it:
1. PARTYING REALLY ISN'T IMPORTANT
This was a huge revelation for me, as I'm a pretty social person and feel comfortable always doing something or being out with people. I have realized that going for a cup of coffee with someone is something I enjoy way more, or going to a concert from a local band in Flagstaff. Those are the kinda things I will remember and will want to, not what happened at a party, or even worse not remembering and having someone tell you the morning after.
2. QUALITY NOT QUANTITY
It's really about the kind of people you consider to be your friends, not how many you have. I learned a lot about friendship this year in particular with losing some people I considered close, but it was crazy what loss brought me. I am so lucky to have the friends that I have now, and to have met people that I consider family. Friendship is such an important part of college, and I can't imagine not having met some of the people I know now. Everything happens for a reason ;)
3. SPEND ONE DAY OUT OF THE WEEK ALONE
Reflecting and learning more about myself was extremely important to realize, and I could only really do this while alone. I am an extrovert, but I love setting a day for myself to meditate and relax and just truly be alone. Write your thoughts down, strange dreams, or important manifestations and goals for yourself. It was one of my favorite things to do, especially when school was getting intense.
4. REJECTION SUCKS, BUT IT HAPPENS
No one likes rejection, buts its natural and it happens. Whether its with a career opportunity, the recent job you applied for, or rejection from a person you liked, it happens. And it hurts way less when we take the time to admit it to ourselves. So yeah it sucks, but even if you're in that position right now, know that you'll find that person or a different job opportunity. Sounds cheesy but things happen for a reason and timing plays a huge part.
5. DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF
College is ridiculously hard, and a lot of people don't admit that to sound cool or whatever, but its difficult. You're put into this institution far from home and expected to do well, find a career, and figure shit out. I've realized that stressing out about past mistakes and certain people is so unhealthy and unnecessary. We're human, and honestly just need to take each day and moment as a learning experience. Not every day's good, not every day's bad. Take it easy on yourself.
Be selfish with yourself and your time, we're going into our 20's and there's some fun and crazy memories to be made and lessons to be learned for all of us.
"That is the simple secret of happiness. Whatever you are doing, don’t let past move your mind; don’t let future disturb you. Because the past is no more, and the future is not yet. To live in the memories, to live in the imagination, is to live in the non-existential. And when you are living in the non-existential, you are missing that which is existential. Naturally you will be miserable, because you will miss your whole life" -Osho