How To Get A Job And Your Parents Off Your Back, In 5 Easy Steps
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How To Get A Job And Your Parents Off Your Back, In 5 Easy Steps

A sardonic (yet helpful) guide to getting your parents off your back for the summer.

How To Get A Job And Your Parents Off Your Back, In 5 Easy Steps

As summer is now upon us, and we return home to our loving and majorly stressful families, we begin to hear the questions...

"How did finals go?"

What we're thinking: "Awfully, I maybe didn't fail one."

What we say: "Good! I think I did well haha." *such a fake laugh*

"Do you have a boyfriend yet?"

What we're thinking: "You're 50 Aunt Carol, do YOU have a boyfriend yet???"

What we say: "Haha not yet." *even faker laugh*

And the best one of all, the one my family has thrown at me every second for the past couple days:

"What are your plans for the summer?"

This question is asked in parent language, to make it seem pseudo-polite. It roughly translates to GET A JOB YOU LAZY BUM AND QUIT USING ALL OF OUR MONEY.

And so we get to the center, the focal point, the purpose of this excessively verbose article.

HOW TO GET A JOB: (and your parents off your freaking back)

1. No online stuffs

Make a resume. There are layouts on Gmail or Word, just fill in the blanks lazy. Then go to about 100 stores and turn them in and badger and then MAYBE you might get one interview, MAYBE.

2. Go in more than once

It does seem rude and annoying to us, but there is a 99% chance they forget you the second they met you so just do it.

3. Ace that interview

Truthfully? They don't want your lies. They don't want your perfectly rehearsed answers either. Be a human, not a robot. Make a friendship with the boss lady in charge! Make a connection, find similarities, and be the kind of person that they would want to work beside.

4. Tell them you are never busy

Even if you are. Because at your job, you can tell them about your bowling league on Wednesday nights and knitting clubs on Saturdays and they will fix your schedules.

5. Get the job and hate everything

What happened to summers where you could bike to your friend's house and play kickball in the street and jump on the trampoline and eat popsicles until they melted in red and orange and blue streaks on your face and hands? Nobody knows.

So, welcome to adulthood. Welcome to working. And if your parents don't make you get a job, be grateful every second. Because life inevitably leads to this point. Unless you're rich af.

At least you'll be able to buy more Chic-Fil-A when school starts again. Do it for the chicken nuggets. I believe in you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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