Inspired by Sheena Shauna

I don’t know about you (no, I’m not feeling 22), but there have been multiple occasions in my life where I have been approached by older female relatives about dressing cuter, or wearing more makeup, or “doing something with that hair.” I’m sorry. I thought I had the boys lining up for me when I wore my oversized––most-likely-stained-because-I-wear-it-way-too-often-and-mostly-when-I’m-binge-watching-Friends-and-eating-ice-cream––sweatshirt and with my hair in a messy bun.

Every time someone makes a comment like that, I spend the next, probably hour or so, trying to pick my jaw up off the floor, while wondering how the heck someone in your life could say something like that to you. It’s comments like these that cater to us trying to look “perfect,” whatever that means, all the time.

Time and time again, it seems like society tells us when we’re trying too hard and when we’re not trying hard enough. We’re damned if we look too good––“she wears too much makeup” or, “she tries too hard”––and we’re damned if we don’t––“she’d be so much prettier if she did her hair.” I say, you do you. If you love getting dressed up and wearing makeup every day, YES GIRL. GOOD FOR YOU. I admire your determination to wake up half an hour earlier in order to put on some foundation and mascara. And for those of you who don’t want to muster up the energy to do that, GOOD FOR YOU, TOO.

ALSO, don’t assume that just because a woman likes wearing makeup, doesn’t mean she isn’t comfortable with her own skin. Sometimes we just like our eyelids to be a nice sparkly gold or our eyelashes to look super cool and long!

I’m going to say this loud and clear so that your mom, and your mom’s mom, your aunt, and your aunt’s mom (that’s the same as your mom’s mom), can hear me: CATERING TO YOUR STANDARD OF BEAUTY IS NOT MY FIRST PRIORITY.

I have stuff to do. I don’t do my hair on Tuesdays because those are my long days, filled with classes. I don’t usually do my makeup on weekdays because I WILL sweat it all off just from living in Azusa where it's hot as heck. I do what makes me feel beautiful when I want to, and how I want to. And what makes me feel beautiful might be different than what makes you feel beautiful, and what makes you feel beautiful might be different than what makes your best friend feel beautiful, and that’s okay. Let your own definition of beauty guide you, not someone else’s.

We all have our insecurities, I’m not saying those insecurities don’t exist and I am incredibly thankful for the people in my life that help me look past those insecurities and see beauty. But what I am saying is, I’m tired of women being chastised for not looking the way other people want them to look, and making them feel ashamed of times when they don’t feel beautiful. Feeling comfortable in your own skin all the time is different than feeling beautiful all the time. You can be comfortable with who you are and not feel beautiful at the same time. There are times when you aren’t going to feel beautiful and that’s okay. I think we should embrace it and be totally okay with the times we don’t feel beautiful. Here are just some of the times when I don’t feel beautiful and I’m not ashamed of it!

When I’m working out

I feel utterly disgusting and sweaty and I can feel my ponytail sticking to the back of my neck.

When I wake up

I’m sorry but there is no woman that feels beautiful when she wakes up with eye boogers and messy hair. Unless she’s flawless. Which means she’s Beyoncé.

When I’m crying

There’s nothing like a good ugly cry while watching any one of the episodes of Parenthood, cause let’s be honest, you cry during every single one.

When I’m on my period

Hell yeah, I said it. Stretchy pants and ice cream, amirite ladies?

When I find myself dressing up for someone other than me

I don’t want to do this for you, I want to do this for me; when I have the time and energy to do so.

So all in all, I think you should do what makes you happy. And I think you should embrace the times you don’t feel beautiful. Because you’re human and sometimes it’s midterms week and you’re running on empty and you just want to sit in an oversized sweatshirt with a pint of ice cream and binge-watch Friends.