It's a question I get asked often.
"How is it being gay?"
For a long time, I was unsure as to how to answer. I often found myself trying to validate my homosexuality, trying to give it a good vibe.
"It's not bad." "It's great actually, I love it!" "It's annoying sometimes, but mostly it's fine."
As if it were some kind of physical deficiency, as if my sexuality was a toy I got for Christmas and my grandma was pestering me for a positive review.
I would feel pressured in some instances to hide this part of me, fearing the disapproval or pity others would place on me.
Don't ask, don't tell.
Other times, I would feel obliged to "over-do" my homosexuality. To prove to others I was okay, I felt it necessary to prove I was okay being gay.
If you're gay, embrace it.
Needless to say, I've often been very confused.
This stigma we have placed upon homosexuality, that it matters more and defines our characters more than, say, eye color or food preferences, can be very hurtful. I am not "me" because I am gay, and I don't have to prioritize my homosexuality to be true to myself. I live and breathe like anyone else. I play soccer, I like to watch comedy movies, I crave avocados, I'm kind of disorganized most of the time, I hate when it's really humid, I enjoy Chinese food, and I once stole a chocolate bar from my brother on Halloween. None of these things stem from my sexuality. When you ask how my "gay" is going, recognize that shouldn't be a substitute for "how are ya" or an indicator of my mental/emotional stability.
As an important side note, many people who ask me "how it is being gay" do so with more specific questions in mind. Namely, they may wonder if I want to adopt or fertilize in vitro, they may want to know what I find most attractive in a man, they may want my opinion on opposition to gay marriage. This is not bad, I understand the curiosity surrounding the issue, and I'm more than happy to engage in these conversations. But please, just ask me.
I want to live in a world where the fact that I'm gay garners as much interest as the fact that I have a freckle on my palm.
"Hey, that's cool... do you know what the weather is gonna be like tomorrow?"
I recognize, however, that, if you aren't gay, you may not completely understand my complaint, and you may be genuinely interested in how it is living life as a homosexual. If you're still looking for an answer as to how it is being gay, you'll find an informative, descriptive and hopefully enlightening one below:
I'm romantically attracted to men.
