The process to be ok being alone is long. It is all about finding yourself and accepting who you are. This doesn't mean you want to be alone or accept the fact you are a loner. This is about being ok doing things yourself and not needing others to be there 24/7.
When I was little, my biggest fear was being left alone. In the grocery store, if I was not attached to my mom, anxiety would overwhelm me. If my mom was not in my sight I would fear the worst. When I got into middle school and high school, I wouldn't do anything unless I knew someone going or my friends were coming with me. I missed out on a lot. Even in college there were things I didn't do because I would have been doing them alone, but that only ever happened once or twice.
I believe I have truly found my freedom and independence. I don't think it was until I had my heart broken by a boy I liked that the revelation hit me. Well, we can't give him all the credit, a large part was going to college and doing it all on my own. The place where I really found this independent me was my favorite place. I got in the car and drove to my rock on a lake. I sat there and thought. I wasn't the same person walking through the woods back to my car that I was walking to the rock. I was Erin, the fiercely independent soul that wouldn't let anyone hold her back. I have no fear of going on adventures myself. The biggest test of this was venturing to Firefly in Delaware all alone. I drove three hours and pitched a tent by myself. (slight help from the people next to me, but hush) I didn't care that there wasn't someone to accompany me to the bathroom or to get food. I did my thing. I worked the festival and made lots of new friends.
It was an adventure I wouldn't trade for the world. It was an amazing experience and I would do it 1,000 more times if I could. I had spent too much time before thinking that people would stare at me and think, “Who is that weirdo here all by herself?”. It’s me! Most people wouldn't dare going to a huge music festival where you don't know anyone. It only made me more confident in myself and my capabilities. Now, I have no fear of doing it myself. My dad often goes to Boston for work and I go off and explore the city myself. Of course I document it on snapchat and I have GPS. I am still a strong independent woman :P Heck I did a black light waterslide by myself and could not have had more fun!
In reality though, it wasn't the adventure I went on that showed my I can do it myself. It was my determination to do it alone. I found my independence within myself. No man, or person will ever drag me down or put me in a bad place. Sure I started my independence journey from a place of heartbreak, but so what? I cried then I decided he doesn't deserve that and I got up and did it on my own, just like Miley Cyrus. (“Do It On My Own” -Bangerz great album) What I want you all to get from this is that honestly anything is possible to do alone. Heck I will go backpack Europe and Asia alone. I’m not afraid of independence, I embrace it and so should everyone else. Forget what everyone else is doing and just do you for once. Trust me you will never go back.
