On a cold, autumn day, I tend to look up at the sky and just breathe. I don't have to say anything and hoping the wind will hug me tightly. I see a river in front of me and I just stopped in my tracks. I sit on the grass for five minutes just basking in the sunlight even though it is cold outside.
I question how I've changed and I wonder what I could've done differently. As I remind myself, life is turning out the way I wanted it to be. Sometimes, my heart feels heavy and I want to leave this earth. I often wonder what it would be like if my soul was outside of my body. I would be another spirit passing people by.
If I were a spirit, my troubles would disappear but also, so would my experiences and my skills since I'm sure I would not be able to write, skate or even touch another human.
While I was thinking, the rain came down and I thought, maybe the sky is crying for me.
What if the sky is crying because a soul like mine wants to disappear. As if, leaving this earth would make me feel better. Why would anyone think like that?
I just want to feel better about life but the people in it are making my troubles worse.
It would be nice if the world could just hug me tightly.
Let me sleep soundly underneath the stars.
While this life is beautiful, I know I am too.
But, sometimes I want to run and get on a plane.
Where? I'm not quite sure.
Sometimes, I want to be alone but secretly wish there was someone who'd hug me.
It would be nice if an angel came down to lift my spirits up. Possibly say, "Let me hold you tonight. Tell me your thoughts and I will tell you why it's better to face these demons. I don't mean, an actual demon from Hell. I'm talking about, those haters, those fears and those who want you dead. Live for yourself and when you do, you will write a story. Then would you see that it's easier to breathe."
If only there were a field of dragonflies to watch at night. Seeing them light up would make anyone's' heart feel lighter. Escaping reality after a rough day would make me feel better. Recharging the soul would be wonderful.
If there were a secret door opening to another universe, preferably where people are always kind. Where no troubles are too large or small and feel the warmth of the other humans you come in contact with, maybe it would be easier to live.