6 Secrets All Girls Are Guilty Of | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

6 Secrets All Girls Are Guilty Of

A sneak peak into the lives of the female species.

56
6 Secrets All Girls Are Guilty Of

Boys, men, males of all ages, listen up. I am about to reveal some of the most sacred secrets that make up the female species. I may lose friends, and I may even eliminate my feminine credibility, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make. If your girl constantly looks #flawless and claims she “woke up like dis", THINK AGAIN. If she just happens to guess your favorite artist, knows the dress your ex girlfriend wore to junior prom, and what you wore in your last six profile pictures, it's no coincidence. Girls are weird, plain and simple. I know, I have been one for 20 years and I still question why I do the things I do, but there are things you never knew we did, and here they are.

We wear men's deodorant.

If someone could please tell me what genius thought “majestic dandelion" had the ability to cover up the body odor of a woman, I'd greatly appreciate it, but I'm here to tell you, it doesn't. I should probably go on a feminist rant and write a letter to Dove expressing that women do indeed need proper D.O. for the B.O., but instead, I will continue to apply my old spice deodorant every morning because it does the job.

We color in our eyebrows.

Whether she has two bushy Anthony Davis caterpillars above her eyes or you can't tell when she is surprised because of her lack of brows, she colors them in, trust me. I didn't discover this makeup trick until a few months ago, but apparently it is a key component of a woman's daily beautification. They say eyebrows speak louder than words, but you may have to face the fact that hers might not be there when you both wake up.

We stalk every aspect of your life via social media.

Remember that time when some random girl knew your major, house, list of all previous girlfriends, how many times you went to country thunder, your mom's maiden name, and that you were really deep on social media in 2009? Well believe it or not, that was no coincidence. As soon as you make eye contact with us, or don't, our research begins. Social media allows us to learn the things about you that you won't ever reveal. Did you know that you can see every picture that a guy has ever liked on Facebook by typing "Photos (Name of Hottie) likes" in the search box? Now that is quality information.

We refuse to wash our hair for as long as possible.

It was not until college that I learned the art of the "body shower", and it forever changed my life. Do you know how long it takes to wash, condition, post-shower condition, brush, blow dry, and style your hair? Of course you don't, because you're a boy and the life of the boy is easy. (Stay tuned for future article on how boys have life easy).

We tape our boobs.

This is the real secret. Boobs don't simply stay nice and perky in a backless dress, there is a 98% chance that those bad boys are being held up by some sort of adhesive. Pain is beauty, and you don't know pain until you have spent twenty minutes in the bathroom removing mario kart duct tape from your body after formal. This is all for you boys, so show a little appreciation and maybe throw down a complement or two rather than just creepy stares.

We talk about you ALL THE TIME.

Okay, don't flatter yourself, it's not just you, it's every guy. We talk about the guy that sits by us in class that asked to borrow a pencil last Wednesday (Which translates into "Can I borrow…your hand in marriage?"), we talk about that guy at the pool with weird toes, we talk about that hot waiter at B-dubs who can be the lord of my wings any day, and we talk about that guy who we are absolutely head-over-heels in love with…he just doesn't know we exist yet. We love boys. Thinking about you, talking about you, dreaming about you, you name it, we do it. Thanks for doing weird, mean, sweet, hot, funny, and bizarre stuff so that we have something to talk about.

Women: One of the most complex species on the face of the planet, and no matter how many tips I give or secrets I reveal, you'll never completely understand us. We say we are fine when we aren't, we binge watch lame shows on Netflix, and we travel to the bathroom in groups of no less than three. But think about it, without women, there would be no you, and if there was no you, I wouldn't have anyone to read my articles, and that's what really matters. Until next time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
ross geller
YouTube

As college students, we are all familiar with the horror show that is course registration week. Whether you are an incoming freshman or selecting classes for your last semester, I am certain that you can relate to how traumatic this can be.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

Bonus points if it is more than two.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

12 Things I Learned my Freshmen Year of College

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

4628
friends

Whether you're commuting or dorming, your first year of college is a huge adjustment. The transition from living with parents to being on my own was an experience I couldn't have even imagined- both a good and a bad thing. Here's a personal archive of a few of the things I learned after going away for the first time.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Economic Benefits of Higher Wages

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

303274
Illistrated image of people crowded with banners to support a cause
StableDiffusion

Raising the minimum wage to a livable wage would not only benefit workers and their families, it would also have positive impacts on the economy and society. Studies have shown that by increasing the minimum wage, poverty and inequality can be reduced by enabling workers to meet their basic needs and reducing income disparities.

I come from a low-income family. A family, like many others in the United States, which has lived paycheck to paycheck. My family and other families in my community have been trying to make ends meet by living on the minimum wage. We are proof that it doesn't work.

Keep Reading...Show less
blank paper
Allena Tapia

As an English Major in college, I have a lot of writing and especially creative writing pieces that I work on throughout the semester and sometimes, I'll find it hard to get the motivation to type a few pages and the thought process that goes behind it. These are eleven thoughts that I have as a writer while writing my stories.

Keep Reading...Show less
April Ludgate

Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments