girl-who-tried-too-hard

To The Girl Who Tried Too Hard To Be Something She Wasn't

No one can see the real you if you are trying so hard to be someone else.

93
views

In today's society, there is so much need to compare ourselves. Because of social media, we scroll for minutes, hours, for days looking at others and their lifestyle wishing we had what they had. The grass is greener on the other side. A saying that has become a way for many of us to think. I want you to know, you don't need to try to be anyone except you. Many of us try so hard to be someone we are not just so we can impress other people.

It being February, it is around that time where people may be wondering "what can I do or change to make that person want to be with me?" or telling yourself "I need to look/act a certain way to be attractive and wanted." I can relate to these thoughts because I often catch myself thinking this way.

There was a girl I once knew who had a crush on a boy for a LONG TIME! She became good friends with him and throughout the years she watched as he went through different relationships and watching out for what made him attracted to these girls. Over time she started making small changes in her life that she knew would probably grab his attention.

It started out with small changes. She had found out he liked girls with glasses, but she had perfect vision, so, she would buy inexpensive glasses and made sure to wear them around him. She knew the kind of music he listened too so she started to pretty much listen to a bunch of his favorite artists so she could bring it up in conversation to prove she was his type. Then came a time where he began to notice her, and they soon became a couple.

Of course, like in every relationship, there is a honeymoon phase. So, it started out the way she had imagined, and it was great, but even then, who she was began to change. This started to show more and more over time. She began to feel not good enough just being herself in the relationship and completely transformed her lifestyle to fit into his so he wouldn't leave. All the changes she made to herself to fit into his ideal girlfriend lead to losing sight of herself.

Yes, this story can be seen as a very sad and unfortunate situation, but she sees this as a blessing in disguise. How do I know this? It is because this is my story. I used to be the girl who tried so hard to be wanted or liked that if someone told me to be myself, I wouldn't really know what that meant for me. I had to make a decision to stop trying to be who I'm not. I know that this can be very difficult to do, but I want everyone to feel encouraged to put in effort into yourself instead of the way the world believes who you should be.

All I have left to say is not only me talking to me who tried too hard, but to all of the girls who have tried or are currently trying too hard, I want you to tell yourself that you are loved and important. You don't need to try so hard that you give who you are away. You are loved and important. The people in your life who love you for are the ones you should appreciate having in your life because they are the ones who see you without you even trying.

Popular Right Now

10 Abnormally Normal Things About College

Some stuff just doesn't fly in the real world.
120577
views

College is a weird, weird place. For whatever reason, the young adults who are supposed to be cultivating their minds with all of the worldly knowledge available to them, seem to get away with quite a bit using the justification "it's college." Even the best students live abnormally while on the alien planet that is a university. So, while to us college students it may just seem like another day, here are ten things that are only normal in college.

1. Straight up theft.

In the future, if I walk into my forty-something-year-old neighbor's home and see a collection of stolen signs, stuff from the local restaurant, and property from the construction site down the road, I would definitely be concerned about the character of my neighbor. However, in college, people proudly display campus signs, traffic cones, or dining hall napkin dispensers that they have impressively commandeered - it's a cheap decoration and a great conversation starter.

2. All-nighters.

Maybe with the exception of parents of little babies, very few people willingly stay up for close to 24 hours on end. In the real world, if a friend came to you and said that they literally did not sleep the previous night, it's completely logical to be worried. On the other hand, when a friend in college says that he was up all night you laugh a little, give him an understanding pat on the back, and walk with him to the coffee line.

3. Atrocious eating habits.

Sometimes you don't have time to eat. Sometimes you order pizza at 2 in the morning. Sometimes you eat three dinners. Sometimes you diet. All I can say, is thank goodness that our metabolisms are decently high at this age.

4. Breaking and entering.

In high school, you hopefully knew everyone who entered your home. After college, hopefully, that's still the case. However, when you live in the middle of thousands of bored college students, people knock at your door, walk into parties, cut through your yard, and stop by without invitation or hesitation. It keeps life fun, but still not normal.

5. Calling mom when stuff goes down.

I really doubt a time will ever come that I don't need to call my mom for guidance on how to do something. But, hopefully the frequency of those calls with go down a little bit post-graduation. Maybe after four years of doing it on my own, I'll know how to fill out government forms, cook real dinners, and get stains out. But for now, I'm going to keep calling while I still can without seeming totally pathetic.

6. Being intoxicated at weird times.

Drunk at noon on a Friday is the quintessence of an alcoholic at any time - unless it's college. Not that this is necessarily a good thing, and it certainly doesn't apply to everyone, but there aren't many other places where people would instantly assume someone is intoxicated if they're acting even a little weird. I've even seen people drink in the library....

7. The messed up dating scene.



There are people who meet the love of their life at college and live happily ever after. They are people who meet the supposed love of their life at college and never talk to them again after Sunday. There are people who use Tinder. Hormones are high, freedom is bountiful, and football players are cute - what else needs to be said?

8. A warped sense of time.

The career I'm pursuing will require me to be at work by 7 am, five days a week. I am fully aware of this. Now, will I enroll in an 8 am next semester? Absolutely not - I'm not a demon. In college, nights often start at 10 p.m., dinners are eaten at 4, and mornings can begin anywhere from 8 to 2. We don't get that whole 9-5 idea.

9. Costumes... for no apparent reason.

High schoolers have a dress code. Adults have dignity. College students have fun. Here, people will wear a corn costume to get on ESPN, a fanny pack to get into a fraternity, or a tutu to match a theme party. Is it actually a weird thing, though? No one even blinks an eye.

10. Insanely close friends.

Name another point in your life when you live with your friends, study with your friends, drive with your friends, eat with your friends, go out with your friends, and even grocery shop with your friends. I'll wait. At college, it's easy for friends to seem like family because you're with them constantly. Love it or hate it, it's weird about college.

So, enjoy this weirdness while you can - it won't last forever!


ALSO SEE:

Uncensored Roommate Confessions!

Cover Image Credit: Matthew Kupfer

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

18 Ways To Live Stress-Free Days

Being stress-free doesn't mean you're carefree, it means you're getting it together.

15
views

It's no joke that life can sometimes get the best of us when we are not on top of things. Personally, if I don't take the time to gather my thoughts and get a little organized, my life becomes chaotic.

Have you ever noticed your room or workspace getting cluttered and once you took a step back you realized your head was also a cluttered mess?

This happens to the best of us but instead of being down on yourself and letting it stress you out, take a deep breath and try to work a few of these ideas into your daily routine.

1. Spend quality time with the people you love 

2. Set a weekly goal 

3. Make a list of the things you need to get done (and actually do them one by one)

4. Don't make plans or commitments you know you can't do 

5. Break things down and take it one day at a time, don't overwork yourself 

6. Set weekly or monthly budgets and stick to it 

7. Pay attention to the people who surround you and if you notice ones who put you down- let them go 

8. Find one thing that relaxes you and do it every day before you go to bed 

9. Prioritize your plans 

10. Stop procrastinating 

11. Take a mental health day and let yourself recuperate 

12. Be optimistic about things even if your day started on the wrong foot 

13. Make a separate chores list for things you need to get done around the house 

14. Find something you can do/ have all to yourself and embrace it 

15. Talk yourself through situations that give you anxiety 

16. Communicate with others and don't be afraid to ask for help 

17. Get a coffee and get to work on the things you keep putting off 

18. Be your biggest fan and always reassure yourself 

It's time to stop letting stress bring you down. When the world around us gets us in a funk the best thing to do is stop, breathe and focus on yourself. Getting your things together before freaking out and letting the stress eat you alive is crucial.

Being busy and stressed out 24/7 doesn't get you anywhere. See how much happier you become when you find your triggers and remove stress factors out of your life.

Related Content

Facebook Comments