For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to write. I've wanted to write articles to change how people see things, to write books to give the same joy that I got out of reading, to weave stories that no one's ever heard and to immerse myself into something that I loved.
This is what it's really like.
I go to University to get a degree in Communication. The struggle is trying to find a job that would be worthwhile. My peers, who are amazingly talented have novellas published or are getting books published, won awards for their writing, and I'm writing article after article going seemingly nowhere.
Growing up, I was told over and over again how talented I was when it came to the written word. I was handed awards and my stories were always kept as the class examples. It meant a lot to me but you can't exactly put that on a resumé.
My anxiety rages wars within my mind and so submitting my work to other places is insane to me and the waiting is even more difficult to deal with. I have a love-hate relationship with the situation. I can't wait to get my first rejection letter because it would mean I'm at least going somewhere, even if not fast. And that first acceptance and publication are going to be all the sweeter.
As a writer, my career goals rely on my talents and not exactly a skill. That knowledge is terrifying when I get to thinking about how many people are so much more talented, have so many better ideas and have nothing holding them back from conquering the world.
Sure, with the degree I am after, I will have many communication skills that employers seek after, but there's always something to be done better. Which is an obvious truth, but still hard to swallow sometimes.
I love what I do and wish to do it for a while, but that question I get: "What do you want to do with your degree?" is still left a blank. Frankly, I have no idea. I think maybe I should do something else, anything else. I think maybe I'm not as good as I think I am. But honestly, I still would choose the same path every time. The truth is that I love what I do, want to do and would never want to be in a position to lose it.