Real Friends Make Time For You

Ironically, Leaving My Friends To Study Abroad Made Me Realize Who My Real Ones Are

Even if separated by an ocean, those who care will make time.

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When I signed up to study abroad, I knew there were going to be many struggles. I knew that I would be homesick, that budgeting would be an issue, and that not knowing anybody in the United Kingdom would be scary. I tried to prepare myself for these things. These were a few things that I was warned about before coming abroad. One thing that I wasn't informed of before coming abroad was that this will be a time when you realize who your true friends are. Three months into my program and I have learned just that.

It doesn't matter how busy a person gets or what the time difference is, if someone cares about you, they will make time to talk to you, right? Wrong. The girls who I used to call my best friends, go on church dates with, cry to, and rely on have not reached out to me since I moved to London. I have hardly gotten a "Hey, how's your trip going?" or "Hey, did you even make it to London?" I haven't gotten anything since I've been here. I was so unprepared for this. I thought that despite there being a six-hour time difference between us that I would be able to keep my old friendships from home. I was so wrong.

You see, when I asked my friend why nobody would talk to me since I've been abroad, I got many replies and they were all the same. "Everyone's jealous of the experience you're getting, so it's hard for us to talk to you." This response broke my heart. I never thought that at the age of twenty, girls would still be acting like they were in middle school. I was so oblivious to the idea that jealousy goes away over time. It doesn't. What hurts the most is that these girls who I thought I was so close to, are so self-absorbed and so jealous of my life that they can't talk to me. They literally cannot reach out to me because they are jealous. How ridiculous does that sound when you say it out loud? I think what hurts the most is that I thought that true friends were supposed to support you, lift you up, and support you. I didn't realize that friends let jealousy get in the way of a friendship. It's sad to say that my ex-boyfriend and I have face-timed and talked on the phone more than any of the girls I used to call my friends. We've even talked more than some of my family members and I because according to them, "the time difference is too much."

Let's get this straight, the time difference is too much for you, a full-time college student with no job, but it isn't too much for a full-time college student preparing to graduate in six weeks who also works a full-time job? I have more respect for this ex-boyfriend than I do for some of the girls who I thought were my friends. We talk every day and he never complains about the time difference, me being an ocean away, or says that he's jealous. In fact, he encourages me to stay in Europe longer than my program lasts and to see everything that I want to see before I fly home. HE is encouraging, supportive, and a far better friend than any of these girls ever could be.

Overall, I am so happy I studied abroad. Had I not studied abroad this semester, I most likely wouldn't have been able to see these girls' true colors this early on, and frankly, I am so happy I saw these colors now. It's disappointing that women have to be so jealous and can't be supportive, especially when at home and in church they put on an act as if they are the most supportive and uplifting people in Grand Forks, North Dakota. You're not uplifting, you're jealous and toxic and will never be able to keep a good group of friends surrounding you as long as you continue being someone who brings poison to other's lives.

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20 'Thank Yous' My Best Friends Need To Hear BEFORE The Semester Ends

Because I don't thank you enough.

Cassie
Cassie
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When I decided to graduate a year early, I never thought about how hard it would be to say goodbye. The best part of my three-year journey at Florida State was the friends that I had made. The friends you meet in college are the friends you will never forget. Although in two weeks we will be miles apart, this is not the end of us-- this is a different type of forever. At this point, all I can say is thank you for making my time here unforgettable. Thank you:

1. For buying me Ice Cream when I had a bad day.

2. For pushing me out of my comfort zone. 

3. For teaching me the right way to do Happy Hour. 

4. For complimenting me when I wore that tight dress.

5. For forcing me to go to the library with you.

6. For *trying* to make me go to the gym.

7. For giving me great advice that you know I won't follow. 

8. For letting me borrow your new shirt even though you haven't even worn it yet.

9. For forgiving me when I get a little sassy.

10. For telling me I can do better. 

11. For reading my shitty articles. 

12. For ignoring my absolutely terrible singing. 

13. For laughing at my jokes. 

14. For roasting me in the group chat. 

15. For driving me to class when I was too lazy to find parking. 

16. For picking me up from class when I was too lazy to walk back home.

17. For lending me money because I really REALLY needed that extra guacamole.

18. For tolerating my annoying self after your stressful day.

19. For staying up late because I didn't want to watch the scary movie alone.

20. For being the best friends I ever had.

Cassie
Cassie

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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