Real Friends Make Time For You

Ironically, Leaving My Friends To Study Abroad Made Me Realize Who My Real Ones Are

Even if separated by an ocean, those who care will make time.

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When I signed up to study abroad, I knew there were going to be many struggles. I knew that I would be homesick, that budgeting would be an issue, and that not knowing anybody in the United Kingdom would be scary. I tried to prepare myself for these things. These were a few things that I was warned about before coming abroad. One thing that I wasn't informed of before coming abroad was that this will be a time when you realize who your true friends are. Three months into my program and I have learned just that.

It doesn't matter how busy a person gets or what the time difference is, if someone cares about you, they will make time to talk to you, right? Wrong. The girls who I used to call my best friends, go on church dates with, cry to, and rely on have not reached out to me since I moved to London. I have hardly gotten a "Hey, how's your trip going?" or "Hey, did you even make it to London?" I haven't gotten anything since I've been here. I was so unprepared for this. I thought that despite there being a six-hour time difference between us that I would be able to keep my old friendships from home. I was so wrong.

You see, when I asked my friend why nobody would talk to me since I've been abroad, I got many replies and they were all the same. "Everyone's jealous of the experience you're getting, so it's hard for us to talk to you." This response broke my heart. I never thought that at the age of twenty, girls would still be acting like they were in middle school. I was so oblivious to the idea that jealousy goes away over time. It doesn't. What hurts the most is that these girls who I thought I was so close to, are so self-absorbed and so jealous of my life that they can't talk to me. They literally cannot reach out to me because they are jealous. How ridiculous does that sound when you say it out loud? I think what hurts the most is that I thought that true friends were supposed to support you, lift you up, and support you. I didn't realize that friends let jealousy get in the way of a friendship. It's sad to say that my ex-boyfriend and I have face-timed and talked on the phone more than any of the girls I used to call my friends. We've even talked more than some of my family members and I because according to them, "the time difference is too much."

Let's get this straight, the time difference is too much for you, a full-time college student with no job, but it isn't too much for a full-time college student preparing to graduate in six weeks who also works a full-time job? I have more respect for this ex-boyfriend than I do for some of the girls who I thought were my friends. We talk every day and he never complains about the time difference, me being an ocean away, or says that he's jealous. In fact, he encourages me to stay in Europe longer than my program lasts and to see everything that I want to see before I fly home. HE is encouraging, supportive, and a far better friend than any of these girls ever could be.

Overall, I am so happy I studied abroad. Had I not studied abroad this semester, I most likely wouldn't have been able to see these girls' true colors this early on, and frankly, I am so happy I saw these colors now. It's disappointing that women have to be so jealous and can't be supportive, especially when at home and in church they put on an act as if they are the most supportive and uplifting people in Grand Forks, North Dakota. You're not uplifting, you're jealous and toxic and will never be able to keep a good group of friends surrounding you as long as you continue being someone who brings poison to other's lives.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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18 Things You Know To Be True If You Are A Dancer

#Dancerproblems.

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It's the night before my first dance competition of the season, so of course I'm going to write about dance. Without further ado here are 26 of the most common things you know if like me, you are a dancer.

1. You are constantly choreographing dances in your head.

It doesn't matter what song you are jamming out to, without fail, you find yourself choreographing dances, even at 2:00 AM.

2. You always find a way to practice your solos or dances for competition.

Even if you have a small space to work with, NOTHING, and I mean absolutely nothing will stop you from practicing.

3. You are constantly trying to better your technique.

All day, every day, it doesn't matter if you're working on turn combinations or bettering your tap technique, not a day goes by that you don't work on it.

4. You have a "dance drawer" in your dresser.

Leotards, tights, and booty shorts, oh my!

5. The studio is like your second home and your team is like your second family.

There's really no explanation needed.

6. You feel like you never get enough time in the studio.

Because there's no such thing as "too much dance"

7. Your weekends always consist of a dance private

Literally almost every weekend

8. You're not embarrassed about going out in public while wearing dance clothes.

And you don't care if people look at you funny for wearing your leotard and company jacket to a restaurant.

9. Your company jacket is your jacket of choice.

You've gotta represent your studio, plus it's sooo comfortable.

10. Forget the holidays, competition season is the most wonderful time of the year.

I love competition season so much!

11. You're always losing bobby pins.

Gotta love those sock buns that take you literally 15 minutes to do, and the ridiculous amount of bobby pins that you use just so your bun can stay in tact.

12. You have regular earrings and then you have dance competition earrings.

Those big sparkly earrings are always fun to wear.

13. Your Instagram explore page is full of videos of other dancers.

What can I say, I just love dance.

14. The phrase "I can't, I have dance" is one you say all the time

I apologize to all of my friends and family who I try to make plans with but can't follow through because of dance privates.

15. The same goes for "5, 6, 7, 8"

I am so guilty of this one.

16. People ask you if what you do is like what they watch on "Dance Moms"

And you reply with "Sort of, but not exactly"

17. Sometimes you just randomly strike a dance pose.

For me, it has always been , and always will be an arabesque.

18. Your mom is the best dance mom ever, and you dad is the best dance dad ever.

They honestly are, I couldn't do any of this without my wonderful parents and am so thankful that they continue to support me in doing something that I absolutely love.

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