Doing Nothing While Wearing Something
Start writing a post

Doing Nothing While Wearing Something

A satire on female dress code.

Doing Nothing While Wearing Something

Female expression has advanced in the past 200 years. Starting as early as the fishwives during the French revolution, women have been the backbone behind many different historical protests, continuing with the suffragette movement in the early 20th century, the food riots in Europe during the first world war, and fighting against segregation in the American south since the 1950's.

But, women's expression through fashion has become outrageous. Starting with the raising of dresses to knee-length during the 1920's "flapper" era, to two-piece bathing suits, and now to crop tops and short-shorts galore, the female means of exhibiting current trends and fads have become overbearing. Because of the way they have been presenting themselves in society, women have no right to be complaining about "unwanted" male attention, as if their clothes aren't distracting enough.

So, for women complaining about this problem, I have come up with a few modest proposals as to how to avoid these events!

First thing's first, ladies. Any outfits that can show your shoulders or any skin above the ankle have got to go. They are far too distracting for men to deal with. Seeing as how revealing clothes obviously invite rude or crude behavior, it's best that we just decide to cover up.

We can cater to these needs and replace our previously-revealing outfits with loose fitting pants and turtlenecks! The legs will be fully concealed, no shoulders will be shown, the midriff area is nowhere to be seen, and the chest area will also be covered. There is more left to the imagination. By doing this, productivity in workplaces and classrooms will increase since the distractions of the female body are out of the way! This way, men won't have the option to be distracted by the outfit you're wearing.

If women are still worried about "unwanted" male attention, there are more ways that they can go about fixing this. Just stop worrying! Boys will be boys, after all.

One last piece of advice I have is for women to be conscious about the time that they choose to go outside. Seeing as how rude comments from men seem to increase around nighttime, women should leave where they are at and start to head home no later than 30 minutes to sundown.

I hope that these few modest suggestions will help all of my fellow women out there!

Note: this is a satire and is not meant to be taken seriously.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments