Did You Get My Text?

Gone are the glory days of carrier pigeon and waiting three months of waiting for your true love to confess his or her most intimate thoughts scrawled in black ink across a golden piece of parchment. Truly this constant test of time strengthened each other's love for one another. You millennials don't know what you're missing.

Did you get my text?http://rebloggy.com/post/harry-potter-starkidpotte...

Well you didn't text me back!http://rebloggy.com/post/harry-potter-starkidpotte...

If you haven't seen Starkid's "A Very Potter Sequel" I suggest you watch it. It's funny, it's lighthearted, and it brings to light a question we all ask our silent phone: "did you get my text?" Let's talk about this for a moment. Are you measuring your self-worth by how many texts you get in a day? Or the strengths of your relationships by how much someone texts you back? I understand, I really do. For those of us who actively express our love through words of affirmation or time spent in conversations, it can hurt when other people don't reciprocate. You'll text someone and him, she, or they just won't text back for who knows how long. I don't know about you, but thoughts will circulate in my head. "What did I do to upset them?" "Why don't they like me?" "Why am I putting more effort into this relationship than they are?"

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Take a deep breath friend, and reflect.

This reflection will look different for everyone: perhaps speaking your thoughts aloud, writing it down, meeting with a friend for coffee and externally processing that way, taking a shower, finding a secluded area and filtering your thoughts through your head. The point is to come to an understanding and peace.

I will often have a full conversation aloud with myself to sort through my emotions and thoughts.

"How do I feel?"

"Well, my friend didn't text me back so I feel bad."

"Bad, how?"

"Sad."

"Why?"

"I feel as though she doesn't love me."

This is where I can clearly grab onto that thought. I personally express my love through my conversations with others. I have a great desire to speak with people, I respond as soon as I can, I put thought into the words I use. But that's just me. My mom expresses her love through acts of service, I would never judge how much she loves me on how much she texts me. My dad is an engineer and would rather email me than text me (weird, right?). My roommate makes sure I've eaten. None of them express their love in the same way, and I have slowly learned to be okay when they don't text me back. It's still a learning challenge for me accepting others' silence, however, and that's where I continue to reflect, to try to understand, and to not only love but trust the person on the other side of my phone screen.

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Love is not defined by attention

This is important to understand to protect your relationship, your friendship, yourself and others. I can love someone and not respond because I'm in the shower. Someone can love me and not check my text because they have an exam tomorrow.

People can date and go days without speaking with each other (remember the carrier pigeon in the beginning?) There are lots of people who pay attention to our president. Lots of people who do not love him. At all. Once you accept that love is not attention, a lack of attention no longer has the power to dampen your mood.

Love does not equal attention. Love is a separate, much more powerful entity that extends beyond attention. Attention can be a form of active love, but is by no means the only one, nor should it ever be. Love is a daily, often hourly choice we decide to partake in, and if that love is not expressed through text 24/7 365 days a year, that's okay.

This is not to say you get a free pass for never texting someone back, nor does it mean it's necessarily healthy in a relationship for a couple to never communicate with each other. This is a conversation for you to have with your friend or significant other. Discuss how texting affects your relationship, romantically or platonically. Ask how much texting plays a part in the other person's life. Understanding their point of view leads to a stronger relationship with more trust and acceptance of silence.