I used to think the same thing. I didn't think it would get better- only much, much, worse.
I don't know if anyone's told you, if it's something you need to hear, or if it's something you're sick of hearing- but you're not alone in that. Millions of people around the globe think along similar lines. They look at their hardships, feel the weight of the world, and think "Holy fucking shit...it only gets worse from here." They don't think it can get better.
I used to be the same way. And in some ways, I was right. It did get worse. Much, much, much times 10, worse.
But it needed to. Sometimes It needs to. That's just the way the world works. For a garden to prosper you've got to yank the dead weeds out, make room for the new seedlings to prosper. For your personal growth to happen, you might have to yank anywhere from a couple of weeds to a whole tractor full.
It just depends. There's no shame in it. There's no shame in crumbling and having the world fall apart around you and sometimes falling apart with it. Grieve, cry, pity yourself, be angry at yourself, do what you have to do. Yank those dead weeds out of your garden.
But remember, at the end of the day, always remember to forgive yourself. You are the dandelion growing between the cracks of the world. As long as you are trying your best that's all you can do. And you're doing great at it.
So yeah, maybe it does get worse. Not gonna lie, it probably will.
But if it can get worse. It can definitely get better. Once you reach rock bottom the only direction to go is up.
As someone who thought it could only get worse, it did get better.
It got way better. I am able to live a fulfilled life I never thought possible and that's because I got the help I needed and gave life a chance.
Can I still improve my life? Of course! Is my life perfect? No, but it doesn't have to be. I manage to find joy in both little and big things, and that's what matters.
If there's nothing big to be happy about in your life, allow the little things to fill your gaps. Like cute animals, the stars, the sunset, warm tea, good books or movies, a tiny plant, any and all little things are valid. Even if seems silly, if it brings you the slightest amount of joy, grasp and holds on to it.
Life is what you make of it, so roll with the punches and try your best.
You're doing beautiful and I'm sending you good vibes so that it will get better for you.
The person who it did get better for.