Dear Catcallers,

Hello! How are you today? What are you up to today? Where are you going? Oh, are you busy? Why aren't you smiling? Are you upset that someone is calling you out? Oh, gee. That must feel so horrible and awful. Good thing it doesn’t happen to you all the time. If I could just have a few seconds of your time, I would really like to level with you and share some thoughts and tips with you. If you clicked on this article while scoffing to see if I am going to set out some sort of challenge for you, then you’ve come to the right place. I am here to challenge you with a whole bunch of things. For example; to respect other people. Ooo, that one is going to be so tough. Another example; controlling yourself, being a decent person, and not looking so desperate. Gee, these are going to be so hard for you. I get it; either you don’t believe you aren't doing any harm with a little whistle or that gross ‘up-and-down’ look, or you just don’t care and do what you want, whenever you want. It doesn’t matter, though, because if you are either of these kinds of people, I’m talking to you and hopefully, you’ll scroll and listen.

I know you probably have a whole bunch of excuses as to why you think it’s okay to call random people out while they walk. Just to use as an example, I had a friend who told me that she called out a guy for whistling and hitting on her as she walked to class and he said, “I can’t help it, you don’t understand what your hips do to me.” First of all, I’d like to point out that my LGBT+ friends who are attracted to women do not have the same problem at all. The only difference between you and them is that you are just being extremely rude about approaching people you like. If you really want to get a person’s attention, you should not do it by whistling at them or calling out to them. For example, if you were going to approach someone who is walking by on the street, DON’T. You do not know anything about that person except for the fact that you think that they are attractive or cute. If they look at you and smile and wink a little, then it’s totally chill to come up and ask them how they are.If they begin to look uninterested, know when to back off. If you see a person walking by with headphones in or they look stressed or uninterested at all then you should just leave them alone. If you see someone reading a book quietly, they most likely do not want to be talked to. Be kind, understanding, and be sensitive. Some people just want to finish their coffee. Some people just want to walk home in peace and quiet. Some people don’t like to be told that they’re beautiful. They already know they’re beautiful and if they don’t, it’s not your job or your destiny to tell them. It’s their job to tell themselves. If you’ve ever been unnecessarily followed or yelled at by someone in a passing by car, you would understand that it’s extremely uncomfortable. There it is. You’re not making anyone feel flattered or lucky that you gave them a compliment, you’re making them uncomfortable. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know exactly what you are doing, too.

This letter is for the guys who asked my sister and I to pick up their action toy figures to see us bend over while we were wearing our swimsuits at the pool. This letter is for the grown college men who sat in my dorm’s lounge and asked me what my 16-year-old sister’s name was while they stared at her like she wasn’t even a human being. This letter is for the man at Walmart who saw my mother and proceeded to follow her the entire time she shopped and repeatedly asked her for her number. These words are for the people who will only back off once they see that the person they’ve taunted is taken. These words are for the people who don’t back off either way. This has got to stop. If you don’t think this is a problem, you are part of the problem. If you think that this problem is the least of our concerns and that we can afford to ignore it, then you are completely part of the problem.

Sincerely,

One pissed off sister, daughter, and friend.

P.S. We live in a society that has been standing up for one another and has been doing so more and more each and every day. If you happen to see someone who is being followed by someone else, intervene, please. If you see someone who is being bothered or is being pestered by someone else, also intervene. Pretend that they are your friend and that you were just looking for them. Pretend they are your sister, brother, cousin, or long time BFF from high school. Just take them to safety or somewhere the catcaller isn’t and ask them if they need to call anyone or if they will be okay. If you see someone being attacked, call the police or defend them. Be safe. Be the good person, the person that people will look up to. Mind your own business whenever you find someone extremely attractive; don’t make it your job to get them home with you or to get them to be your date. Whatever you do, just be the good person. You get plenty of opportunities day in and day out to be the best person you can be, and if you get the chance to be the good person by shutting down a catcaller, do it. Thank you for your time.