Destigmatizing The B-Word
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Politics and Activism

Destigmatizing The B-Word

Making boundaries great again.

Destigmatizing The B-Word
Dr. Michael Aaron

Let's face it, people are nosy and entitled. A fatal combination, might I add too! People feel it is their right to know your personal business, justification for doing certain things and to hold a certain place in your life even if it is unearned and will make you feel like a horrible person for not allowing them to do so. This has happened to me in many of my relationships both old and new, and I'm here to say that it is one hundred percent okay to have personal space (both in the literal and figurative sense of the word).

Other people may not like to hear it but sometimes the answer is "no." You do not have to appease every single person in existence at the detriment of your own comfort. I realize that this is easier said than done because I used to be a person who was willing to sacrifice my own happiness and well-being in order to make someone else feel more at ease, and then one day I realized that is not the measure of a healthy relationship.

I'm still navigating this tedious path and it is a day to day struggle, but having healthy boundaries makes for better, more honest relationships, and anyone who tells you otherwise probably does not respect said boundaries. I find myself telling my friends that you don't owe that creepy guy the time of day, or a new friend your life story, or someone who hasn't supported you a place of honor in a celebration. At times, I have to realize that like a psychic who has visions for others but never themselves, sometimes my advice for other people is greater than any I'd follow for myself, which I'm learning to do more and more.

You do not need to be a doormat to get people to love you. You do not need to end up questioning your own integrity to have relationships with others. You also do not need to hurt yourself at the expense of others' own comfort.

In the end, our boundaries keep us safe, they teach people to respect us and should never be used as leverage to gain or keep a relationship.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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