Why Feeling Jealous Of Other People's Achievements Hurts You

It's Time To Stop Feeling Bitter About Other People's Successes And Create Your OWN Success

If you really want to achieve your goal, you have to let go of every last bit of contempt towards those who are already there. It's much healthier to be humble and get inspired by the achievements of others, not threatened.

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Let's not kid ourselves. Many of us feel at least a little resentful when we see or hear about the success of others in something we want ourselves. Deep under this sourness is a certain amount of envy, whether it be conscious or subconscious. Envy is a tricky thing: it's culturally shamed, and most people will refuse to admit when they have it. So this envy gets hidden and pushed down deep into ourselves, and at some point it becomes bitterness.

The thing is, it's totally natural to want what other people have. In fact, I would argue that seeing someone with exactly what you desire can be an effective motivator. Just don't let envy get the best of you.

Bitterness leads to making excuses. For example, if you want to be rich, but you subconsciously hold resentment towards rich people, you will tell yourself things like, "Most rich people got their money through privilege, inheritance, or luck." Even if the thought is true, ruminating on it leads to the mindset that you will never be rich yourself. Psychological barriers like these prevent us from seeing our own potential to reach success, whether we have luck or privilege on our side or not. In addition, is it really possible to achieve a goal if you dislike those who have? It's a lot harder to become a rich person if you hold a grudge over rich people.

Instead of disliking someone because they are successful, we should take a step back and ask ourselves to really understand our emotions. After you really think about it, you realize that you are projecting frustration with your own circumstances onto the other person. Think about it: if you feel yourself immediately disliking someone, but you can't exactly say why, it's probably because you envy some aspect of their life and wish you could have it yourself. It's misdirected animosity. It's not a crime to be successful.

I think it's much healthier to be humble and get inspired by the achievements of others, not threatened. If you envy someone's success, wouldn't you rather channel those emotions into inspiration rather than cynicism? We all need to work on changing that unhealthy twinge of annoyance into productive motivation by just saying, "I want that too. What exactly did she do to get it?"

If you really want to achieve your goal (wealth, fitness, fame, whatever it is), you have to let go of every last bit of contempt towards those who already there. You have to open your mind and be willing to engage in the process of getting to that point. You have to be willing to follow in the footsteps of those who have what you want. Most importantly, you should realize that other people achieving something first doesn't mean you won't achieve it at all.

Many people who are successful achieved their goals by getting inspired by others, not threatened by them. They were eager to get down and dirty and learn everything they needed to know, even if they started from the bottom. There's absolutely no shame in looking at someone and thinking that you want something they have. You should be determined to get there and learn from others' victories and failures. Find mentors that can teach you their wisdom. If you have achieved something that you're proud of, be willing to help others achieve it too. Start to foster relationships that benefit both sides and challenge you to be your best self. Let go of the bitterness and start working towards your goal today.

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27 Things To Do With Your Friends When You're Bored

A little bit of fun for any season.
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I am sure many could relate: you are texting or sitting around with your friends and no one knows what they want to do, everyone is bored, and everyone is flat out of ideas that are actually realistic and achievable. Boredom makes an appearance at it's finest moments... always.

Here are 27 things you can do with your friend in just about any season (some are exclusive to a particular season) when boredom takes over!

1. Find a local coffee shop to try out.

2. Or better yet, find a local restaurant that you’ve all been wanting to try.

3. Go shopping at each others' favorite stores.

4. Tie balloons with positive messages inside of them to random places in your town to uplift a few souls.

5. Cook a homemade meal for a homeless person and deliver it.

6. Get crafty and create a time capsule that you and your friends can open after (x) amount of years.

7. Make your own sushi.

8. Plant flowers in little pots for your homes.

9. Road trip to random local cities and do some exploring.

10. Have a photo shoot.

11. Buy or create a blank page’s journal filled art, writing, sketches, and pictures of your friends that can be used as a memory book.

12. Visit a pumpkin patch.

13. Go stargazing in the middle of the night with a blanket and a few midnight snacks.

14. Go to a haunted house.

15. Go to a movie with the group.

16. Have a giant sleepover with board games, snacks, movies, and crazy pajamas.

17. Have a game night with the peeps.

18. Have a gingerbread making contest.

19. Have a bonfire when it gets cool outside.

20. Make homemade ice cream.

21. Search on maps for the nearest natural spring or river and go swimming or canoeing.

22. Take a camera, your group of friends, and stroll around town taking pictures of your adventure.

23. Use the pictures you take on your adventures and create a photo wall in your home.

24. Have a "Madea" movie night.

25. Throw a themed party.

26. Write letters of encouragement to children (or adults) in hospitals.

27. Look up random keywords on YouTube for possibly some of the best videos ever.

Cover Image Credit: aurimas_m / Flickr

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You Need To Accept That Not Every Friend Is A Forever Friend

We find ourselves forgiving these people, despite the consistent pain that they put us under.

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Breaking up with a significant other and ending a romantic relationship is a form of heartbreak that is covered by the mass: we have movies that depict the kind of situation and songs that tell of the pain. Yet there's another kind of end to a relationship that is less covered and equally as agonizing — the end of a friendship.

You've most definitely heard of toxic romantic relationships, but toxic friendships are often overlooked. We tell ourselves that it's just a part of life, that sometimes friends hurt us and sometimes we fight. We find ourselves forgiving these people, despite the consistent pain that they put us under.

Toxicity is common within friends. A toxic friend feeds off of your hurt. They leave you out intentionally or create group chats without you. They'll constantly make you feel bad about yourself and make you believe that you are the one who's in the wrong. They utterly lack empathy, and don't care whether or not you are hurting, nor will they ask if you're okay. Typically, they love drama and will generate it at any given moment. They are pretty self-centered and only care about their own problems, never asking or listening to you about your own.

When a friend is causing you more stress than happiness, more harm than good, then they are not worth it. Friends are the people in your life who are supposed to be there for you and help you through this crazy, mixed-up world, and if someone is doing the exact opposite, you need to walk away.

The first step to letting these people go is to confront them for the last time. Try and discuss the situation with them. Generate conversation to see if there is an underlying problem that could be helped. If this person is still displaying toxic behaviors, you'll know that you've done everything you can to make it work and that this person is just someone who is never going to change their ways.

And the only thing left to do is to let them go.

It's not easy. In fact, it's nearly the furthest thing from it. It can alter your entire life, whether it be changing the dynamics within your friend group or distancing yourself from this toxic person. A lot of the times, the task of detaching yourself from a toxic friend seems so complex that we give up and forgive them.

Don't. As hard as it is, it will get easier. While one door closes, another one will open. You may find yourself open to new people and opportunities that you had never had when you were caught up with your old friend. You'll have time to learn to love yourself more because once you start to love yourself, you'll be able to more clearly differentiate between toxic and healthy treatment.

Some friends aren't forever. And that's okay. They come into your life, teach you lessons, provide memories, and leave. You are better off without that pain in your life. Know that not every person that comes into your life is going to be this way. You'll find people who are undyingly loving, supporting, and kind, who will be there for the rest of your lives. They will fill the void of what your toxic friend will never be able to be.

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