Watch Siri Give Me The Cold Shoulder

A conversation I had with this girl living in my phone

Jul 20, 2015

We all know Siri as the toughest and most complicated robotic chick in town and she has, at one point or another, ruined your life. She's always out to get somebody - in the library, in the public bathroom, or on the road giving you the wrong directions.

My personal relationship with Siri is as promising as a bunny on the highway. If you don't believe me, take a look at this ridiculous conversation that I had with Siri just last night.

I programmed her to call me KP, my initials, because I like it and it reminds me of Kim Possible. And to break the ice, I decided to start the conversation with something... bold.

Wow, Siri moves fast! We've only been talking for a minute and we're already BFFs

Well that went from one hundred to zero real quickly. What happened, Siri?

This made me a little bitter, so we ended up playing this game called 'Who Can Keep Saying OK The Longest?'

...

... Okay, Siri. You win.

One minute we're friends, and the next minute we're strangers. How much sense does that make?

THE HEAT HAS BEEN IG-NITED.

The end.

...And that was the end of our friendship. We were BFFs for, like, 60 seconds though, and that still counts for something. Moral of the story is: although Siri isn't real, the person behind the screen typing out a response to each statement (or at least that's what I imagined it to be like) is very real. Here's a message to you ma'am or sir: I don't want to be your friend either. So HA.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Watch Siri Give Me The Cold Shoulder

A conversation I had with this girl living in my phone

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It's not as easy as it sounds.

PRO: More time for self care.

CON: More time to overthink.

PRO: More time to spend with family and friends.

CON: More time to get into trouble.

You can be yourself without having to explain yourself, because she accepts you and loves you just the way you are.

The temperature may not be very Autumn-like, but these playlists sure are.

1. Southern Gothic

2. Autumn Acoustics

3. Autumn Leaves

4. Deep Dark Indie

5. Dreamy Fall

6. Halloween Hipster

7. Wanderlust

8. Your Favorite Coffeehouse

... Because life happens

1. Realizing there's no more toilet paper when it's already too late.

2. Making a cup of coffee in the morning and forgetting it in the car.

3. Pushing doors that say pull.

4. When you hear people chew.

5. When it's really quiet in a room and you hear that one person breathing like they just ran a marathon.

6. Grabbing a chocolate chip cookie, only to realize it's actually oatmeal raisin.

7. Getting comfortable in bed and then realizing you forgot to pee/turn off the light.

8. That one aunt/uncle that just always gives you that creepy vibe.

9. When your teacher makes you buy a textbook that you never even crack open.

10. Continuing to open and reopen the fridge until the food that you want magically makes its way in there.

11. Walking into a room and then automatically forgetting why you went in there.

12. People that drive without using their blinker.

13. When you have really slow wi-fi.

14. People who feel the need to scream into their phones as if the other person can't hear them.

15. The world's obsession with the Kardashian/Jenner families.

16. Advertisements before Youtube videos.

17. When people read over your shoulder.

18. A-holes that park in the handicapped spots when they, in fact, not handicapped.

19. People who cut in line.

20. The LIRR/MTA

21. Being stuck behind someone who is walking painfully slow.

22. When people smoke cigarettes right in front of the entrance to the building you have to walk into.

23. When boys think it's cool to treat girls like crap.

24. Guys that still go to high school parties even though they've been out of high school for years.

25. Celebrities that are obviously lip-syncing.

26. How you need a scissor to get the scissor out of its package.

27. When people text using that stupid "voice text" function.

28. Telling someone you can't hear them, so they use the same exact volume and just repeat what they said.

29. When someone gets in the shower right as you were about to get in the shower.

30. Saying "What?" for some reason, even though you heard what the person said.

31. When you're in a rush but the light is red.

32. Cashiers putting your change down on the counter instead of in your hand.

33. The people that go up to order food to the cashier but are still continuing their phone conversation.

34. That awkward time in the fall when it's freezing in the morning but stifling in the afternoon.

35. Emailing your professor a long winded paragraph about a problem you are having and they email back, "Sure."

36. Guys who put their car as their profile picture on Facebook.

37. Girls who have "X Years Young." in their Instagram bios.

38. Trying to find the beginning to a roll of tape.

39. When people drive your car and adjust your mirrors/seat.

40. People that talk during the movie.

41. People that decide to engage in conversation right in the middle of the hallway/sidewalk.

42. When someone says, "no offense," and then continues to say something offensive.

43. People that pop their significant others pimples.

44. Teacher's pets.

45. Going to the bathroom and someone goes into the stall right next to you.

46. When someone leaves your room and doesn't shut the door.

47. Political debates between two people who know nothing about politics.

48. When you get all ready to go out and your friend cancels plans.

49. People that drop their friends for their significant other.

50. People that don't like animals.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

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