Reflection Is The Best Free Remedy For A Breakup

Reflection Is The Best Free Remedy For A Breakup

I'm happy to say I'm growing and learning from experiences and I hope he is too

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When experiencing a breakup it's almost impossible to see the good in the situation. Through all the tears, anger, and frustration you might feel like your world is caving in and you are losing a best friend. I know I felt this way after dealing with my first major breakup. I was in shock when we broke up and I would have never seen it coming. We were happy three days before, from what I could tell and I knew the breakup wasn't my fault. Still, I felt like I could mend it up myself and fix everything. Long story short, I was naive. After turning to various online tarot readings, listening to a fair amount of Paramore, and bargaining with myself to text him or not, I started reflecting on my situation and reminiscing on my relationship with my ex. Through this, it became very clear that who I thought I was in love with was an idea of someone that I projected. I will cherish all the times I spent with this person, but at the end of the day, I will never know what he was thinking throughout the course of our entire relationship.

When I first started reflecting back to every moment in our relationship I started creating a monster out of the person I was dating. I found the good qualities in him and twisted them into scales and thorns. I turned the person I knew into another person that I could never love and hated. This was toxic. By doing this, I turned the relationship I was in, into something it was not. I created a new story, but this one was fiction.

If I weren't a master ruminator, I would have left it at that and concluded that the person I was dating was a terrible person overall with no redeeming qualities, but creating a monster out of someone who truly treated me well for the time we spent together just didn't sit well with me. I knew there was more to consider. Creating an entirely new person from one terrible situation that resulted in our breakup was not going to work. He wasn't a monster, just a flawed person and perception is what fluctuated my view. Throughout all the moments we spent together one thing is true, I will never know what he was thinking and by creating my own conspiracies of what he was thinking I wasn't being fair.

On the other side of things, I wasn't treated fair in this situation and I think It's important that my voice is heard. I could have never known what was truly going on in my now ex's head because he never communicated these concerns with me in the beginning. I'm not a mind reader, so I would have never known what he was thinking. It hurts so much to know someone I opened up to so much wasn't opening up to me, leaving me vulnerable while he remained guarded. Things were good for a period, but they would never strengthen because he put everything on the line at once, making me feel like I never knew him fully until we broke up. I will probably never know all the sides of the person I was dating, but by recognizing that I'm able to grow from a situation that could have ended much worse.

I'm thankful for the moments I was able to spend with this person, even if some of these moments could be seen as superficial. The moments were happy memories and even if he sacrificed his own insecurities, we created something beautiful for a while. The car rides were joyous and forehead kisses warmed me. Still, no person is perfect and through recognizing the faults that were present in this relationship, I am ultimately growing and becoming a better person. I miss the memories and the person I thought he was. He was a part of my life and I can't help but express my gratitude. I am spinning my own web but, I couldn't do it without him.

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Bonnaroo Is Unlike Any Other Music Festival

4 days of camping, 150 performers, 10 stages, and the most incredible experience you'll ever encounter in the middle of Tennessee.

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The Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival takes place in an enormous 700-acre field -- nicknamed "The Farm" -- in Manchester, Tennessee. Festival-goers from all over the country fly, drive, or walk into the festival to experience 4 days of music, activities, and food. This past weekend was my first time going, and I can without a doubt say that it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. One of Bonnaroo's common sayings is "Radiate Positivity," and the 4 days spent there are factual evidence of the saying. At Bonnaroo, there is no stress, no worry, and not a care in the world. People of all kinds come together each year to celebrate life, love, and music without judgment. Each person's authenticity was something I noticed as soon as I stepped foot into the festival.

You can embrace your true self without apology. Each person is there to lift you up, too.

The atmosphere is much different than anything else I have experienced before. Even when my friends and I felt tired, or if the sun was just too hot to bear, we still did not mind being on our feet for hours on end. We enjoyed being exactly where we were, despite the minor inconveniences we may have faced -- like sitting in 5-hour traffic to get into the campground! I may sound crazy for saying this, but time truly did slow down while we were on The Farm.

My friends and I pulled up to the campground at 6 a.m. on Thursday morning as The Farm buzzed with people. We were too excited to go to sleep, so we spent the morning exploring the place instead. Day or night, everyone was alive with smiles that were contagious. We heard the words "Happy Roo!" from friends and strangers alike.

No matter where you came from, everyone was family at Bonnaroo.

One thing I noticed this past weekend was that everyone was there to help one another. If we needed help with setting up our tent, our neighbors who camped next to us were there to help in seconds. If someone tripped and fell, three people would be there to help the person up. If someone needed a few bucks for water, there was someone in line who was more than willing to cover the cost. I felt so at home there, as if I was a part of this community consisting of all types of people. I felt like I belonged there.

Alongside incredible people and a fulfilling community, there was stellar music as well (of course!). Headliners such as The Lumineers, Post Malone, and Kacey Musgraves rocked The Farm with new and old hits that hyped up the crowds.

Each performer reminded us that Bonnaroo is a safe place and does not discriminate against any person.

Hearing these words so often gave me so much hope for this world and the changes we can make. Bonnaroo is known as a Music and Arts Festival for a reason because it also promotes and sells eco-friendly living and handmade creations all throughout the festival. The activities that are available to attendees set the festival apart from other music festivals.

Bonnaroo connects us all through music, acceptance, and love. I can't wait to go back next summer!

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Poetry On Odyssey: The Light That Is Manhattan

A poem about anticipation.

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Almost there.

The subway station is cold and narrow

But the staircase is just ahead.

No more corners, maps, or the like,

Just the light at the top of the stairs.


They say this city is filled with dreams.

Desires that may not even exist yet.

Dreams that have yet to be achieved,

or so the glow in front of me says.


The wonder builds as the ambiguous light at the top of the

Subway station stairs get brighter.

These steps are a two way street of

Excitement up

Fulfillment down.


May this light soon turn into

Roaring streets

Calm corners

Tranquil parks, and

dreams obtained.


The bright light I see in front of me is the glow of the city.

32 steps and I'm home.

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