Being Bullied As A Child And Becoming An Adult
Start writing a post

Being Bullied As A Child And Becoming An Adult

What has shaped me into the person I am today.

16
www.pixabay.com
Pixabay

Kids can be cruel.

Maybe it's the need to feel powerful, or the misguided anger of one's own insecurities or issues, but I never understood the appeal of being a bully. I mean, what's so satisfying about making someone else feel bad?

I was always a very happy child with a sweet disposition. I was also very sensitive and wanted the other kids to like me. The more I tried to fit in, the less I actually did, and the more kids avoided me rather than get to know me.

I've said before in previous articles about my struggles in school. Learning never came easy to me, especially math or science.

When I was in third grade, I almost never understood what was going on in math class. Since I didn't understand it, I would zone out a lot. My teacher would call on me and I would always get the answer wrong.

This wouldn't have mattered so much. I would've just been a student that struggled with math. What made it matter was that every time I would get the answer wrong, my classmates would collectively yell at me. They would call me stupid. As if the answer to the math problem was so obvious, and hey, maybe it was. Who knows?

Either way, being the "dumb one" of the class was something I became very insecure about, and my teacher never did anything to stop my peers from antagonizing me.

I never wanted to raise an issue with my parents about it, so I suppressed my emotions and kept quiet that I was being made fun of for my intelligence. Looking back on it, I don't know why I stayed quiet about it.

But I couldn't keep everything inside forever. The bullying continued, and I felt worse and worse about my situation until, finally, I exploded.

I remember it clear as day.

My mom had picked me up from school and asked me how my day was on the car ride home. Usually, I would've just said, "fine," and that would be it, but instead, I started crying my eyes out and came clean about what had been going on in school. My mom was furious that my teacher never did anything to stop the obvious bullying and called into the school. Meanwhile, I got a tutor.

I hated having a tutor because it felt like admitting defeat, so for a long time, I would stubbornly get things incorrect during tutoring sessions, even if I did understand and know the correct answer, just because somehow that was my way of rejecting the need for a tutor. It makes no sense, but as a child, it somehow made perfect sense to me.

Eventually, I gave in and let my tutor actually help me. My grades improved heaps, and by the time I was to go into sixth grade, I was accepted into the advanced math placement class in my middle school. I thought I'd finally proved to everyone that they were wrong about me and that the bullying would stop. Of course, it wouldn't.

I was no longer the stupid girl in class. This just meant that the bullying transferred from my intelligence to my appearance. My nose and my weight became big topics against me. I got very self-conscious.

I remember being loudly called ugly by a boy I had a crush on. After that, all the other boys stayed away from me as if I had a disease.

Making fun of my nose was somewhat understandable. I had broken it when I was younger and it never healed properly, so it was abnormally big on my young face. My weight, however, made no sense. I was very petite and one of the smallest and skinniest of the class. At that point, however, kids just thought of anything to use against me, and it worked.

It took a big emotional toll on me. I didn't like myself very much, and it was very clear that no one else liked me very much, either. I became very closed off, shy, and quiet in school. I had two friends leaving middle school.

In high school, my only two friends went to different schools than me, and we grew apart. I was very quiet and didn't know how to make friends very well, so I stuck to myself a lot. I made a few friends through sports, but in hindsight, they were merely acquaintances. No one actually tried to get to know me very much, and I was okay with that. I didn't really want to let anyone close to me. I had one person who actually truly knew me in high school. My now ex-boyfriend.

I guess in becoming an adult, my experience has made me a very private person. I tell important things to very few people. I take my academics very seriously and I can be over-proud of myself for any good grades I receive. I'm also very intolerant of body shamers, or people who body-shame themselves for attention.

On the upside, I've learned to stand up for myself. I don't let people bully me anymore, for anything. I've learned to be resilient and self-reliant. Through college, I've learned to put myself out there. I've made a lot more friends since going to Rowan. Actual, real friends.

I'm no longer in a dark place in my life, but still, I don't like to talk about things like this. I like to keep things light and happy. Maybe that has been my way of coping with my childhood bullying story. Talking about it just reminds me of how lost I was, how sad. However, in going through what I went through, I believe it's important for people to share their experiences. It's the best way of bringing to attention issues that usually people turn a blind eye to.

In a way, I feel like my innocence was somewhat stolen from me because of bullying. But I'm also a lot stronger because of it. To anyone out there who's been or is currently being bullied, I'm with you.

Don't let the bullies win. Take control. Own it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

17680
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

946449
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

123095
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments