When I arrived to my college dorm, everything seemed so simple at first. I was making new friends; adjusting to my new life. Everything seemed perfect and falling into place. That was before I realized how to balance my time between my home life, and my college life. Even to this day, I still struggle with it. I thought I was doing everything right. Granted I am, but it may be harder for others. The following is what I wrote down based on feedback and messages I received on my absence from home due to my life in college:
"It's not that I forgot about you, and I didn't forget to come see you when I visited home. My time here is very limited and my life at my temporary home keeps me so busy. Please don't be mad at me when the next time I can see you may not be for awhile. I am tired. I miss everyone so much. My old life when I was in high school was easier to handle. I can only distribute my time home so evenly.
I didn't leave you, nor did I abandon you. I miss my family and my friends so much. When I arrive home, sometimes I am with my family more than my friends, and vice versa. Please do not make me feel guilty for not seeing you for awhile. Chances are I wanted to see you, but I was not able to. I work, I do homework, I'm in class, I try to socialize when I can, and then I am asleep. I am not perfect. I am not the best communicator either. However, the phone goes both ways.
School is hard. It's mentally draining and no matter how organized I am, the curriculum becomes more difficult the deeper I am in my schooling. I need support and assurance that I am doing this well; that I am making my loved ones proud. I appreciate every bit of, but it discourages me when I am told that I didn't come see someone, or didn't hangout with individuals. There are times when I want to do everything, and then there are times where I don't want to do anything."
I'm sorry if this sounds brutal, but this is what I experience on a regular. I am in a new chapter and balancing everything isn't always easy. Maybe one day I will finally find that balance, but for now, please let me find that on my own.
- A college student