To the loved one you've lost before they've even left
Start writing a post
Education

To the loved one you've lost before they've even left

To my great grandpa

109

When you're little, the worst disease you are used to hearing about is cancer. Growing up even without any knowledge of what exactly cancer was, you knew it was something you didn't want anyone you loved to have. Cancer is without a doubt one of the worst things to see someone go through, but sometimes a new word comes along and you dont quite get it.. Alzheimer's.

Usually at first, its not that big of a deal right? Okay so your grandpa forgot where he put his keys, or accidentally forgot if he took his medicine or not, but hes just old, old people just forget things naturally right? I wish thats really all it was.

Sadly, for some people thats not all it was. Alzheimers is truly one of the most heart breaking things someone can experience in my opinion. It's so hard seeing someone you love so much slowly fade away more and more until they're completely gone, but physically still here. It's truly the longest and slowest heartbreak someone can experience.

I remember the last time i heard my great grandpa (grandpa Archie) say my name. I hold on to that memory so much its not even funny. Now looking back, that was about 6 or 7 years ago. Now, im not sure what situation other people are in, or who yall might be experiencing the same heartbreak with but one thing i do know is that its NOT selfish in any way shape or form to wonder sometimes, "God, why dont you just take him. You know if he knew he couldnt even use the bathroom on his own he wouldn't want to be here, if he knew everything hes done and said to the ones he loves most he would be humiliated, he would be so hurt so WHY" and honestly thats not something to beat yourself up about wondering sometimes. The fact is we are ALL human, we all have wonders like that especially when you feel SO helpless.

Sometimes you look back, and you can see every single stage. It starts with something small, and it slowly gets worse and worse and then it just never stops getting worse and you just wonder to yourself where the time has gone and why cant you do anything about it? Why isnt there a cure for something so serious, and if there is (which i of course think theres got to be SOMETHING out there) what can you do about it when its too late? You go from someone who couldnt say a sentence without cracking some type of joke to now someone who literally cant speak, cant eat, cant use the bathroom alone, and can barely look you in the eyes.

Sometimes, something so small can be so big to you. For example, i believe that even if your loved one doesnt remember your name or even how you're related, they just KNOW they love you. I believe that sometimes they do realize they have Alzheimers and even if its just for a split second, they are THERE. Any time those 3 little words " i love you" are said, it makes your heart fill up with so much hope, even if they completely forget about it the next 5 seconds. It makes you look at life in a completely different way and realize this is real. This is actually something that happens every single day, and theres NOTHING you can do about it so of course you're going to feel helpless, but how can you not? YOU'RE HUMAN.

The big picture is even if you dont think theres any hope left, even if you can only see your loved one every now and then for a few minutes before you know youre going to break down, and even if you cant bare to see them at all, IT IS OKAY. Sadly its something you will learn to cope with and if youre a believer like me, you know once that bridge is crossed they are going to be back to the normal funny, brutality honest, loving and selfless person you knew at one time, whenever it is that time comes.

My thoughts & prayers go out to anybody who has dealt or is dealing with this, and just know you are not alone. You are still so so loved, even if you arent being told anymore.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

935438
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

112197
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

68823
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments