Why I'll Never Call Myself A Modern-Day Feminist

I'm The 18-, Now 19-, Year-Old Female That Will Never Be A Modern*-Day Feminist

I would still rather be caught dead than calling myself a modern-day feminist.

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I'm a 19-year-old female and I will never be a feminist.

Correction: Modern day feminist.*

Is that better? For the hundreds of "feminists," acting as misogynists through their phone screens as they stare at Facebook to bash this article.

Some of the feminists that commented on "I'm an 18-Year-Old Female And I Will Never Be A Feminist" said the following:

"Hahaha this article is trash. Maybe you should educate yourself instead of writing articles that clearly show you have no idea what you're talking about." β€” Adriana C.
"Hilarious that literally a child is trying to explain to grown women who she doesn't need feminism. Ok boo, you're welcome for all the privilege you enjoy because of it tho!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚" #soignorant β€” Mary C.
"AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, lord. Save me from 18 year olds who have it all figured out. Thanks for dropping your knowledge bombs on us, kid. Hilarious." β€” Amber B.
"Her opinion proves that she's less educated, and her age provides her the arrogance to denigrate feminism while benefiting from the efforts of feminists who came before her." β€” Amber B.
"GET EDUCATED. πŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌ" β€” Lizzie B.

OK, fine. My ignorance must be showing. Let me convince you otherwise.

Let's start with Susan B. Anthony. After her teaching career, her dedication to woman's suffrage was just getting started. She began going to temperance rallies, but she was not allowed to voice her opinion because she was a woman. For those of you that don't know, temperance is abstinence from alcoholic beverages. Due to her not being able to speak at these meetings, she began to travel and essentially speak for women that couldn't speak for themselves. She spoke on things like slavery and petitioned for women to be able to own their own property. She ended her career with a bang and convinced the University of Rochester to admit women.

The women's rights movement technically began in 1848, when the first gathering was held in mid-July in New York. The organizers of this event were Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott. Approximately 100 people attended this event where Stanton announced the "Declaration of Sentiments, Grievances, and Resolutions."

During the 19th century, women were expected to do nothing but raise their children and enable their husbands to be healthy and happy so they could do all the things that women weren't allowed to do. Work for women was very limited and if they were married they were not allowed to control their own wages. Chances are, most middle-class women had no way to make money outside of their home.

Tunneling back to temperance, women wanted to be able to protect their families as a whole from husbands that preferred to spend a majority of their money drinking. In order to do that, they had to be able to vote. There was a massive group of people that wanted the prohibition of alcohol to take place, and women were the face of the movement. When women realized how much power they had outside of the home, thanks to alcohol abuse, health issues, and the societal issues that alcoholism caused, they started pushing for the right to own property, divorce their husbands, have them arrested for beatings, etc.

With that being said, first-wave feminism (1848) is something we as women truly needed. No human should ever be cooped up in a house with no way to expand their lives. That's something most people refuse to do to pets nowadays. Nonetheless, I'm saying some women were treated as equals to dogs before the first wave of feminism came through.

The second wave (1960-1990) was primarily based on the Equal Rights Movement. Some people claim that the feminists of this time period were getting "increasingly more radical."

The third wave of feminism (the mid-1990s) is less political and more so about women physically, and women's personal narratives. Although, third-wave feminists still advocate for equal pay, equal rights, and other things first and second-wavers were primarily focused on.

This is the most uneducated and blatantly ignorant article I've ever read. Your privilege and hatred towards women is on clear display. -Erin L.

Erin L. on "I'm An 18-Year-Old Female And I Will Never Be A Feminist"

So yes, any human being with two feet and a heartbeat should agree with first-, second-, and third-wave feminism as it is written in the books. But that isn't what college-based feminism is about. That isn't what I see on a daily basis while being surrounded by 18-30 year old's. Original feminism isn't even remotely comparable to the protests we see live on television, the internet and in person. What feminism used to be, is not what feminism is now.

You may say, "Oh, those aren't feminists." Then why do they parade around with flags that say feminism? Why do they (whoever they are) go to events like Women's Marches with inappropriate signs that say "Wet the pussy," "My pussy bites back," "No boy's dick is important enough to change any part of my identity," "Fuck you, orange Hitler," and "Bitches get shit done."

These women may do this because it draws attention from the media, I get that. I understand that these marches become part of movements that could potentially help women who are in need.

But let me ask you this... would you let your 6-year-old son or daughter flip through playboy magazines? Or would you want them to see half-naked women holding signs painted to resemble chopped up male genitals, marching around screaming curse words in hopes of getting their point across to the world? What if their teacher at school was watching the news about a radical feminism march, and your child came home and asked specific questions about it.

Maybe you wouldn't be, but I would be outraged.

These women protest and march in public places. People all over the surrounding areas see it. Anyone with a phone or laptop that has internet can see it. The point is, everyone including our children can see this (sometimes non-peaceful) protest going on.

Maybe some of you, as feminists, can tell me where this group of women resides. They call themselves feminists. They are abusively radical. So where is the line drawn? Where is the line drawn in between men and women? Where do the double standards end?

I've said it before and I will say it again.

"I support women who work hard and have goals and ambition... not girls who hate men and stomp around with no shirts on to piss off the public. Feminism has developed into a polluted teaching that young men and women are plunging into." β€” from "I'm An 18-Year-Old Female and I Will Never Be A Feminist"

I will not support this wave of feminism. I am uninterested in raising a protest sign instead of working on my personal goals and pursuing my life dreams. I refuse to call myself a feminist because modern-day feminism is slowly turning into poorly disguised misandry, and I see it first hand.

"Real feminism has nothing to do with hating men, it's about equality among genders." β€” Jennifer D.

Jennifer, you are completely right. Real feminism has not a single thing to do with hating men... but that is exactly what feminism is turning into, and "real" feminists are getting a bad wrap for it. Take a look at the real world and what these massive groups of self-proclaimed feminists are doing.

For the most part, "fourth-wave feminism" can be cracked up as women who want the same exact opportunities as men. They want, for example, (in some cases) the same exact pay even if they aren't qualified, and it almost seems as if they want to be the superior gender.

Science has proven that men and women are built dissimilarly.

"The genetics of sex differences in brain and behavior," Frontiers in neuroendocrinology say's that there are multiple differences between male and female that contribute to sex-specific illnesses and disorders. A study completed by the authors of this article claim that men and women have differences in biological phenotypes and psychological traits. They say that even though they are similar (men and women) "have consistent differences that have important implications for each sex."

On average men have 20 times the levels of testosterone compared to women, so why is it such an inconvenience that men rule some of the more physical labor jobs? Testosterone is what helps build muscle mass, so if you work the same (heavy labor) job as a man, and you get paid less because you as a woman are doing less work, what is the problem?

Men and women are made to do different jobs and tasks because in some ways they are unlike one another. I'm not saying that a woman can't do a "man's job," if she wants to, but why not rule the realm of things we are good at?

"She is 18, how many jobs have you had? You have no idea what it is like to be underpaid for doing the same job as a man.... Look at our Congress, the CEOs of companies, presidents of universities and tell me we are equally represented. If you think those numbers are fair you will never reach your full potential." β€” Debbie W.

For the record, I work a "man's job." I work on the pipeline with crews of 10-20 men making $1,500 a week. I bust my butt to outwork them, and I make sure I get paid the same because we are completing the same tasks. I catch hell for being a woman and doing this job, but that is OK. There are multiple men in this field of work that are stronger and truthfully better at their job than I am. This is all because as a strong woman, I'm okay with being overrepresented in a field of work as long as the work gets done. If I do less work, I expect to get paid less. If I do more work, I expect to get paid more. That goes for any job anywhere. Whether I am a cashier at McDonald's or I'm working next to 10 men, this concept applies.

But there are some things that a majority of women cannot/do not care to do, and there are a massive amount of things men cannot/do not care to do. Therefore...

"We must raise our children to do what they are best at rather than trying to do something they are incapable of just to prove an irrelevant point.

"Women must stand up for what they believe in and be strong in their shoes, while not getting so caught up in what your modern day feminist says she thinks is right." β€” from "I'm An 18-Year-Old Female And I Will Never Be A Feminist"

At the end of the day, fourth-wave feminism is giving true feminism a bad reputation, and the women that are not actively involved and knowledgable in feminism do not realize it. Rather than respectively voicing opinions and pushing for feasible matters, the fourth wavers are flipping feminism upside down and using meaningless tactics to push their personal agendas. That is why I do not consider myself a feminist, and I will continue to push through life and do things my way β€” because modern-day feminism will not get me as far as I can get myself.


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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown β€” or even within my own church β€” seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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My Body Is Not Your Conversation Topic

I'm not up for public consumption.

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I'm skinny. There is seemingly nothing wrong with that. I'm a bit underweight but I am healthy. My body does everything I need it to do and I take care of it well. There is a privilege in being skinny; I can shop for clothes my size relatively easily, my body type is represented in the media constantly, etc.

There's nothing wrong with having a healthily thin body type β€” women are beautiful at every size. The only problem with being skinny is that I don't want to be. I have struggled with my weight and body image for a long time and it is my own problem to deal with, but some days people around me make it worse.

Being skinny makes me feel small, insignificant, like a child. People say the weirdest things about my body and act like it's a compliment. In high school, I wore a pencil skirt to school and was with my friends in the office. An administrator came up to talk to us and commented on how skinny my legs were, then proceeded to gesture to her own leg and ask me if she could give some of her "fat" because I "needed it." It's funnier now but at the time, I was so uncomfortable and too shy to do anything but give her a courtesy laugh.

I didn't wear skirts for a while after that. Those kinds of comments make me feel seen in the wrong way; it makes me want to disappear. There have even been people who are bold enough to invade my personal space and touch me, then tell me β€” in amazement β€” that I'm "really skin and bones." It's weird and awkward and truly doesn't add anything to a conversation. It's actually the easiest way to get me to end a conversation, as well as a relationship, with you.

In a day and age where we share almost everything online, it's become the norm to discuss and analyze people's bodies. They're the ones putting it out there so we should be able to nitpick them to death, right? Wrong. Commenting on someone's body, size, health, etc. is never okay and should not be considered commonplace. I know I'm skinny so I definitely don't need anyone to remind me. The sky is blue but we don't point it out every day, do we?

Leave people's bodies alone. You truly never know what somebody may be dealing with in terms of their body image. And no, you're not entitled to know. I don't tell everybody who makes a comment about my body that I've struggled with my body image since I was 13 because they simply don't deserve to know. Don't put people in a position where they have to defend their own body.

I'm taking my power back lately and not giving anyone a courtesy laugh when they make a joke or comment about my body. Instead, I'm just telling them to shut up, and I encourage you to do the same.

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