As a female human, I absolutely love being pushed into a box labeled "society's expectations" along with my fellow women. I love it almost as much as I love being shoved into the box labeled "illegal immigrant." That being said, many have asked me, "Alex, why do you love female stereotypes so much?" Well folks, I have six reasons.

1. People assume that I'm the one who cleaned

Yep, totally. I was the one who cleaned the apartment, thank you for noticing. I do so much hard work around here, I should have a day to myself. It totally was not my male roommate who did the dishes.

2. Children automatically like me

I'm a girl, children perceive me as a "mother figure." Because of this, kids love me and I have so much fun playing games with them. Unlike my dude friend, who is generally avoided because kids think "he looks scary."

3. Avoiding Homophobic A**holes

Yes please, you homophobic a**hole. Assume that I am straight. All women are straight. Don't yell slurs or throw bottles at me because I am but a lonely straight woman. Hit on me, I love it when dudes hit on me. Force me to admit my sexuality and then tell me I'm going to hell. I love that.

4. Cooking food for my "hungry guys"

HA.

5. Using my perceived weakness to my advantage

I'm actually really lazy and my arms are not weak at all, but thank you kind male stranger, for carrying all of my books. Could you open a jar for me later?

6. Secretly toppling the patriarchy

They won't expect little ole' me. I am perceived as weak and emotional, they won't even bother paying attention to me. And then, when their backs are turned, I will TOPPLE THE PATRIARCHY.