22. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bison. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

33 Best Dad Jokes For Your Father's Day

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.

5428
33 Best Dad Jokes For Your Father's Day
Julia Hart

In This Article:

This Father's Day my family reminisced on some of the best dad jokes my father and grandfathers have had in the past. Here's a list of 33 of our favorites. Happy Father's Day to all the joke-telling dads out there. Keep your jokes cheesy and your family amused.

1. Me: I'm hungry.Dad: Hi Hungry, nice to meet you.

2. Dad: I heard that actress Reese killed someone.Mom: Witherspoon??Dad: No, no. With a knife!

3. Dad: Ask me what the key to comedy is.Person: Ok. What's the key to-Dad: TIMING!

4. What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

5. There are two types of people in this world.1. Those who can draw conclusions.2.

6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fshhhh...

7. How do you catch a unique rabbit? You-nique up on it.How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way.

8. Cashier: Would you like this milk in a bag, sir?Dad: No thanks, just leave it in the carton!

9. If you steal someone's coffee, is it a mugging?

10. Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was two tired.

11. What's the difference between a man in a tuxedo on a bicycle and a naked man on a unicycle? Attire.

12. When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

13. I'd like to thank my legs for supporting me, my arms for always being by my side, and my fingers 'cause I can always count on them.

14. Not all math puns are terrible, just sum.

15. You can't run past a camp site, only ran. Because it's past tents.

16. Normally on Fridays I'd post a Chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

17. What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1

18. Today I saw my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word "iron" in it.

19. Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

20. Yesterday a clown held the door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.

21. No matter how much you push the envelope, it's still stationary.

22. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bison.

23. Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

24. There are three types of people in this world. Those who are good at math and those who aren't.

25. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

26. Kid: Did you get a hair cut?Dad: No, I got them all cut.

27. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes, so she hugged me.

28. You're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out. But when you're in there, European.

29. Barista: How do you take your coffee?Dad: Seriously, very seriously.

30. My girlfriend Ruth fell off the back of my motorcycle. I drove on. I'm ruthless.

31. I asked my wife if I was the only one she's ever loved. She said yes, the others have been 9's or 10's.

32. As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.

33. I'll call you later.Dad: Don't call me Later. Call me Dad.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
eye roll

Working with the public can be a job, in and of itself. Some people are just plain rude for no reason. But regardless of how your day is going, always having to be in the best of moods, or at least act like it... right?

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

Keep Reading...Show less
blair waldorf
Hercampus.com

RBF, or resting b*tch face, is a serious condition that many people suffer from worldwide. Suffers are often bombarded with daily questions such as "Are you OK?" and "Why are you so mad?" If you have RBF, you've probably had numerous people tell you to "just smile!"

While this question trend can get annoying, there are a couple of pros to having RBF.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

A Year At JMU As Told By 'Bob's Burgers'

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1225
Bob's Burgers
collegian.com

A year at JMU promises many great adventures. The journey of becoming a duke and learning what being a duke is all about is really exciting and a lot of fun. Of course, we all know that James Madison University is the greatest university in Virginia (perhaps even the entire country). There are many events and moments at JMU that are cherished and remembered by all dukes.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

15 Things That Happen On Your Birthday

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

5149
birthday party

My birthday has never been my favorite holiday. I've found that I'm more excited to celebrate my friends' and family members' birthdays more than my own. I don't like being the center of attention, so I usually celebrate over dinner with a small group of family and friends. This way, I can enjoy myself naturally without feeling like I have to entertain everyone and make sure they are satisfied. In the past when I've had large parties, I was so nervous that people weren't perfectly content that I didn't enjoy myself at my own celebration.

Keep Reading...Show less
thinking
College Informations

Most of us have already started the spring semester, and for those of you who haven't started yet, you suck.

It seems like coming back from winter break wouldn't really be a break all things considered, since we all come back to school and pick up right where we left off. We know exactly what to expect, yet we're unprepared every single time.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments